Labour rats jostle for glory

Now that the Labour rabble are back where they belong – booted out of office, thoroughly discredited and scrabbling around like rats for that last shot at self glorification – the leadership contest has begun in earnest with the usual list of no-hopers, career politicians and incompetent spivs who’d struggle with running a church raffle.

First to throw his soiled hat into the ring is beanpole banana man and ex-Foreign Secretary David Miliband, protégé of Tony Bliar although that’s a bit like admitting your best mate is a convicted fraudster. Next up is Ed Miliband, younger brother of Dave and another career politician who, upon graduation, promptly joined the Labour party as an easy way to make money without possessing any discernable talent.

Bringing up the rear is smirking Ed Balls (the clue is in the name) whose sole claim to fame is being Gordon Brown’s right hand man when the dour useless former Chancellor was busy wrecking the UK’s finances and selling off our gold reserves for sixpence. Balls was also Schools Secretary where he wasted no time in messing up the brief and concocting hairbrained initiatives.

Non entity Andy Burnham is next and the less said about this idiot the better. Finally, we have one of the most hypocritical and inept candidates ever and for Labour that’s saying something. Step forward one Diane Abbott, a former councillor who won’t hesitate to play the race card at any possible opportunity, no matter how futile. In any other job, she would have long been made "surplus to requirements" but this is politics where a cushy life and gold plated pension awaits anyone even less useful than Abbott.

However, I sincerely hope that Diane Abbott wins the leadership race. With her in charge, the electorate is assured a weak and ineffectual Labour opposition that will go nowhere and never again be able to form a government.

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