Edge not updating on Windows 7 with installer error 0xc06d007f

I quite like Microsoft Edge. It’s not my current browser of choice but a damn site better than Chrome which I stopped using months ago.

Why? Because Edge seems to pretty much get it all right.

• Clear everything on exit? Check
• Confirm closing multiple browser tabs? Check
• Support for a decent ad blocker? Check
• Timely updates? Check
• Fast with a UI that doesn’t get in the way? Check
• Customisable? Check
• Supports Windows 7? Check

And it’s on that last point that you might have noticed installer errors when trying to update Edge to the latest version 93.0.961.38. In my case, the damn installer refused to update Edge and kept returning an “installer error 0xc06d007f” whatever the fuck that means.

Downloading the offline installer had the same result; in all cases the files download fine but the actual installer can’t finish the install process and throws up an error that’s as useful as diet water. I even uninstalled / reinstalled Edge and went as far as checking if my version of Internet Explorer was up to date (it was).

Sure, there are lots of other browsers available but it’s good to have a backup just in case; anything to avoid using Internet Explorer.

Long story short, and after many hours of browsing useless articles on Microsoft’s own forums (is there such a thing as a useful reply from a Microsoft MVP?), the answer is that a couple of updates are required for maintaining Edge:

KB4474419 (SHA-2 code signing support update for Windows 7)
KB4490628 (Servicing Stack Update for Windows 7)

These are both needed and if you don’t have Windows Update running in the background (it’s crap), you can download them from the Windows Catalog and install offline.

After a restart, the Edge installer completes successfully and you never have to look at Internet Explorer again.

Apple slam dunks with the iPhone 12 Mini

After the fantastic iPhone SE 2020, and as an Android user I say that with no pleasure, Apple has once again knocked it out of the park with the fantastic iPhone 12 Mini.

Just look it. I mean really, it’s a work of art. Small. Compact. Powerful. Sleek. It’s all the phone I’ll ever need.

Bloody shame then that it’s tethered to the Apple ecosystem and has no 3.5mm headphone jack or SD slot. Or FM Radio. And still insists on using that silly proprietary charging port.

Here’s what I don’t get. When will the brainless Android manufacturers wake up and realise that there is a viable market for small compact powerful devices? And I don’t mean elongated crap like the Xperia 5 II which needs fingers like E.T. to use comfortably.

It’s totally ridiculous that in 2020, there is still no decent compact Android phone to rival the iPhone SE with similar specs, let alone the new 12 Mini. The best we have is still the XZ2 Compact from 2 years ago and even that was cribbed by having no 3.5mm headphone jack. Or FM Radio.

And another thing. Why is Android slowly morphing into a Google crapfest with all their shitty apps seemingly hellbent on becoming less and less useful and more cumbersome to use?

Take the basic Messages app for example. On Android 10, you still can’t see the date and time for each message in a conversation. Then there’s the Files app; if you wanna share a file via Bluetooth, you have to select a contact first instead of just switching on Bluetooth and sending it to a device.

Why the fuck should I select a contact first? What if the person I want to share the file to is not in my contact list?

It’s exactly this type of sub-optimal UX that the geeks at Google are fanatically building without any regard for user interaction. This is what happens when you treat an app like a technology showcase instead of a product.

Back to the iPhone 12 Mini though; this could be the one that just might tempt me away from Android. However, knowing the Android market, I’m counting on the likes of Samsung and Huawei to start working on their own version now that Apple has revelealed their mini masterpiece.

Why? Because they’re both reactive rather than proactive and just too fuckin’ stupid to come up with an original idea themselves for a small powerful compact phone.

Apple iPhone SE 2020 hits the right spot

Now I’m no Apple fan but at least they “get” that there is a market for small reasonably powerful compact phones. Meanwhile, the braindead Android manufacturers are still busy measuring their dicks and squabbling over who has the most cameras, fastest CPU, biggest screen, highest RAM, largest storage, widest ratio, thinnest bezels and other BS gimmicks that nobody really cares about.

For the first time ever, I’m seriously thinking of moving to Apple. Why? Simply because I want a small compact phone with decent specs. I really hope Android manufacturers sit up and take note, and come up with an Android equivalent but I fear they won’t. They’re simply too stupid, too clueless and too dim to have foresight of what the market really wants.

Look at folding screens. An idiotic response to a question nobody asked or requested. Here’s the thing; no matter how innovative they think they are Android manufacturers are always playing catch-up with Apple who seem to do it right.

TouchID? Early Android phones had a rubbish swipe style fingerprint scanner which was as reliable as next weeks weather forecast. Apple did it right with a fast reliable scanner that was secure and just needed a single touch to unlock.

FaceID? Again, Android phones had versions of this before Apple but it was crap and simply took a photo of your face meaning it could be spoofed with a photograph. It took Apple to do it right with proper biometric 3D scanning that was also secure. Incredibly, a lot of Android phones still use the old “take a photo” method to implement Android Face Unlock which is about as secure as a 1 digit PIN code.

Premium materials? Apple was pretty much first again with a beautifully crafted handset to justify the ludicrous price charged for the iPhone Sheeple to lavishly lap up. Meanwhile, Android phones for a long time were just a sea of cheap plastic with occasional touches to make them appear premium. Sure, it’s no longer the case now but it took Apple to shake up the market.

It even works with the more hare-brained decisions; Apple were the first to start ditching the headphone jack and the Android Sheep promptly followed suit. If Apple says it’s not needed, who are we, the Android community, to argue with such a comprehensive and obviously sensible design?

And here we are again with compact phones. The last decent compact Android handset was the Sony Xperia XZ2 Compact from 2018. Can you believe that since then, there has been pretty much nothing else?

It can be argued that the market will only provide where there is customer demand but you can bet your last wired headset that Apple were actually smart enough to see that there was a gap in the market for a small compact mobile and were savvy enough to build a phone around this to fill the gap. Sure, the battery life is lousy, but then, Apple phones have always had mediocre battery so it’s nothing new.

I’ll give it a few more months to see if anything pops up on the Android front that’s small, compact, not crippled by feeble specs and gives the iPhone SE a run for it’s money. Can’t say I’m optimistic though.

Corona Virus (AKA Chinese Bat Virus)

So are we really being led to believe that the Chinese Bat Virus (CBV) suddenly materialised out of a filthy open air market that’s been used for decades to sell all manner of exotic live animals from fluffy kitties to venomous scorpions and everything in between?

I don’t buy it. This virus will have been developed in a lab somewhere and “accidently on purpose” released into the wild. There are even reports saying the lab was financed with American money. I’d be more surprised if it wasn’t given the recent trade war spats.

That’s not to say China is blameless. They did the same thing with bird flu and SARS insisting everything was OK whilst the bodies piled up. The sting here though is China seems to have less cases than other countries and much like the other crap they’re happy to export, has off loaded the virus to the West who are bearing the brunt of the infections. The problem here too is that China isn’t coming clean with what we’re dealing with and the less said about the WHO the better. How the fuck can you appoint a head of a global health organisation who isn’t even medically trained?

Answer: with Chinese backing, influence, money and other bribes to ensure the WHO stay compliant. The whole thing stinks like a Wuhan gutter.

Stop bashing Megan Markle

Sick and tired of all the hate for Megan Markle. I’m no fan of the Royals, have never watched Suits, and quite frankly, would be pleased as Punch if the whole monarchy collapsed along with all the useless toffs who can’t wait to bow and scrape in front of a bunch of Germans.

However, whatever you think of Markle, it was Harry’s choice. He’s a big boy who can make his own decisions and as long as we’re not having to pay for the whole sideshow, or it’s causing offence to anyone, let them be. It’s nobody’s business and I reckon the constant barrage of criticism is simply because Haters think Megs is in it for the money / fame / fortune / prestige all of the above.

So what if she is? I couldn’t care less if Megan is using the Royal moniker for her benefit; if Harry’s fine with it and none of the other useless Royals mind she’s not doing any harm.

I’m far more aggravated by the traitorous cretins in Parliament who are doing everything to subvert the democratic will of 17+ million people that voted to leave the EU cesspit.

It’s the annual BA IT meltdown event

Another day, another IT meltdown at British Airways causing problems for travellers all over the world. Nothing new, this is exactly what you get when you outsource jobs to India in the name of “cost cutting”; Cheap, incompetent, clueless, script-reading drones who can barely string a sentence together.

Still, this is to be expected when you have the likes of Alex Cruz in charge of BA. Cruz used to run budget Spanish airline Vueling and seems to think he can use the same approach with BA. No surprise then that since he took over British Airways, it’s become Bloody Awful. Cruz was told repeatedly that outsourcing the IT systems and relying on Indian “expertise” would lead to outages and system downtime but didn’t listen. The board should have sacked his useless behind long ago but as usual, all they care about is the share price, dividends and to hell with the customers.

And when Cruz finally does get the sack, it’ll be the usual merry-go-round of safe jobs for the boys where incompetant spivs like Cruz leave with a golden goodbye and are simply parachuted into the next cushy number with a golden hello. Welcome to Club World where every failure is rewarded.

New, New Top Gear is rubbish

I honestly thought Top Gear couldn’t get any worse with a grinning Chris Evans, but new presenters Paddy McGuinness and Freddie Flintoff make the Evans version look like a work of art.

The big problem? That’s easy, it’s the feckin’ accents and Freddie Flintoff who’s as wooden as a carpenters workshop. Plus, neither of the two new presenters know the slightest thing about cars. It’s like getting a village idiot to chair a political debate.

First up, those accents; I genuinely have to switch on the subtitles because I just can’t understand what the fuck McGuiness and Flintoff are saying most of the time. Both their accents are as thick as a mattress sandwich and I hate the way they gang up on Chris Harris in what looks like borderline bullying.

Accent aside, I don’t mind Paddy too much. He’s no Matt Le Blanc that’s for sure but at least the camera work is passable. Flintoff on the other hand, is just a complete tool with zero charm, zero presenting skills and a really awkward on-screen manner that makes you wanna just punch him in the gob so he’ll shut up.

It’s a real shame because the Matt, Chris and Rory combination was working. Once they got rid of Evans and brought Reid into the main team, it settled down a lot more and was enjoyable, entertaining and informative. All three which are sorely missing from the new new version.

I understand Le Blanc wanting to leave so he could spend more time with the family but it’s a shame to let Reid go when they could have just replaced Matt with someone else. Still, it’s typically of the BBC to fuck around with things in the name of “diversity”. As far as the BBC is concerned, they’ve managed to tick the box marked “regional accents” whilst ignoring the fact that ultimately, it’s still a show about cars which is why they’ve gone for two presenters who know nothing about cars (and one who seems to know nothing about anything except cricket).

Do you wanna know how bad New New Top Gear is with these two? I’ve watched pretty much every single episode of Top Gear, even with Chris Evans, but I just don’t bother anymore.

No Facebook crap on Huawei phones – Result!

With all the fuss over Chinese spying, Farcebook has announced that their shitty apps will no longer be preinstalled on Huawei phones. There’s an extra 20% battery life right there and no Facebook is even more of an incentive to buy a Huawei mobile (which by the way are excellent).

Now if only Amazon, eBay, InstaCack, Twatter, Google shite and all the other preinstalled bloatware could be removed, the phones would be even better.

And this is the other thing. I’d be far more concerned about Google spyware on Android phones than anything else.

Mini Movie Review: Avengers: Endgame

After the events of Avengers Infinity War what’s left of the Avengers group together to avenge their losses and try to put things right. That’s all I’m gonna say about the film.

Huge MCU fan here and my single word summary is that Endgame was …… disappointing.

My expanded single word summary comprising a single word + several more mainly beginning with “over” is that I found Endgame disappointing, overhyped, overblown, overrated, nowhere near as good as Infinity Wars, underwhelming and really didn’t meet the expectation. I wanted to be entertained and came away feeling that overall, Endgame was a letdown. It never reaches the height of Infinity Wars in story or action. Even the conclusion of some Avengers characters didn’t make any sense.

Why?

Here are some random thoughts after having watched it several times (mainly because I couldn’t believe it was so bad and keep thinking it can’t be that bad):

1. The first hour is the gloomiest and dullest part of any MCU film and I almost nodded off. When I watch an MCU flick, I wanna be entertained not bored with character back stories moping about the previous instalment. I already *know* what happened, everyone is devastated, large loss of life, yadda, yadda, yadda, get on with it. This is Avengers Assembled not Avengers Anonymous.

2. In the end, everyone gets their few minutes of screen time but it just feels forced and I don’t really care about secondary characters and even some of the primary ones. Just seeing Spidey again with those silly extra limbs makes me remember how rubbish they looked the first time round in Infinity Wars. Really no need to show us each and every one of the squad and give them a few token lines just so the audience can say “Look! It’s < insert random MCU character here >.”

3. There is a point in the movie when I actually groaned. Step forward the undisputed winner of the FFS Award, yes, it’s Pepper Potts in an Iron Man suit trying to look tough. Whatever the hell Pott’s is supposed to be doing in a battle with Thanos is anyone’s guess. She’s become increasingly more annoying in each subsequent MCU flick and has no place in a schoolyard fight, let alone fighting Thanos army. And wearing an Iron Man suit? With that expression? By far and away the worst and silliest bit of the whole movie when I seriously started thinking that the Russo’s were deliberately jumping the shark.

4. Runner up of the FFS award is the #MeToo PC shite at the end when Danvers is surrounded and protected by her coven of witches. They might as well have just replaced it with a Tampax ad complete with girl roller skating across the battlefield in Daisy Dukes to the tune of “It’s my life”. Gimme a break man, we get it. Women are Good. All men are Bad. Femalez RuL3.

5. Some of the dialogue was ropier than a trapeze artists suitcase. Cap saying right at the beginning “Let’s go get this sonofabitch” and “It has to work because I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t”. And Stark at the end saying “I am Iron Man” just in case we forget. Not expecting a Shakespearean performance but it has little of the wit of previous MCU films.

6. The plot was too well signposted so it was obvious from the ending of Ant Man that the Quantum Realm and time travel would be used. Clever how they tied it though and always good to see Ant Man. The best part of the whole movie was when they went back to New York for the first Avengers battle. Reminds me just how great the first one was and how poor Endgame stacks up against it.

7. Biggest cheer of the movie and most fabulous moment? Cap wielding Thor’s hammer which *was* a surprise and totally awesome even though there were hints of this in Age of Ultron (which I’d almost forgotten). Go Cap! I also liked that Thor had become a fat slob with a and the melted ice cream quip was funny. The Lebowski reference was genius. However ……

8. What the feck has happened to the Hulk? We want unpredictable rage and smashing not the Jolly Green fuckin’ Giant. Cap, Stark, Thor and Hulk *are* the Avengers so to neuter the rage of the strongest one (two if you count an alcoholic Thor) was just stupid. This was one of the biggest disappointments as Hulk is a favourite character and we never really got to see him go beserk in Infinity Wars. When people go see a movie with a Hulk in, they want to see him smash. This was a total balls up.

9. The end battle is really unsatisfying with too much crazy bullshit going on. It’s not a patch on the focused and choreographed fight that happens in Civil War or even other Avenger movies and I couldn’t help thinking that with all the flames and scorched earth, might as well invite Sauron with a gang of trolls and orcs from Middle Earth. And what’s with the imprompt game of Pass the Parcel with the Gauntlet?

10. There were loads of plot holes, or at least stuff that I simply didn’t get or was glossed over:

– How does Stark get the stones at the end by just pulling on a glove or using his own gauntlet? When did he build said gauntlet or is it the same one Hulk wears? What black magic has he used to magically pull the stones into his own gauntlet? And from Thanos of all people, the biggest bad ass in the universe.

– How come Stark cracks time travel in a few hours when Pym couldn’t manage it in several years and he was the SME of the Quantum Realm?

– How come Stark knows where the Tesseract and Pym will be in the past to the precise day and place? He’s not Sheldon FFS.

– Why doesn’t Danvers hang around and do more instead of flying off to another planet every two seconds? This is Convenient Plot Hole No. 1 because she could have easily wrapped the whole thing up by preventing him from snapping his meaty fingers in the first place.

– How do the wizards know where the battle is at the end when they make everyone appear?

– How come Barton and Black Widow know how to fly a spaceship with no training or instruction manual? Sure, it’s on autopilot but are we supposed to expect it’s got two buttons, for for “Fly” and the other for “Stop”?

– How does Danvers know exactly where to find Stark and Nebula in the inky infinity of deep space?

– How come it takes the combined strength of Danvers, Hulk, War Machine and Thor to subdue a severely weakened Thanos without any stones yet Iron Man can just grab ’em off him later when Thanos actually does have the fully loaded gauntlet and is at full power? It’s BS man! Thanos managed to pulverise an enraged Hulk and we’re supposed to believe that Stark can just grab the stones with his Iron Man suit?

– Hulk has already worn the gauntlet and survived the fingersnap, why doesn’t he get the gauntlet and do the kung fu so nobody has to die? Even Danvers could have gotten it. Sure, Strange says there is only 1 in a gazillion chance to defeat Thanos but I simply don’t buy that this one and only chance was Stark nicking the stones off an enraged and fully tooled up Thanos.

– When Banner asks the Ancient One where Strange is, she says he’s about 5 years too early. In other words, if she can see into the future, and already has, why didn’t she see the Thanos event?

– How come Nebula forgot to change her brain WiFi password after five years? She’s sharing the same conciousness as the other Nebula but if Harry Potter can manage to stop Voldemort getting in, how come she doesn’t.

 

11. Passing the baton on to the next generation of Avengers was uninspiring and nothing to look forward to. A Valkyrie queen for Asgard? A black Captain America with no super powers? Utter PC crap and I can’t wait to see them both get their asses kicked.

12. The movie gets going once they decide on the time travel plan and that’s where it gets interesting but again, it’s not really explained why having all the stones and putting them into a gauntlet makes you end up having something like a magic genie that grants wishes. Why a gauntlet? What happens if you put the stones in your shoe and tap dance instead?

13. The money shot at the end for Starks funeral when the camera pans across everyone just so we can count ’em was totally unnecessary. Critics and reviews have been falling over themselves to boast about how much they blubbed. Why? I thought the ending with Cap was more sweetly sentimental when he decides to actually live in the past with Peggy rather than come back to the future. I blame the snowflake generation Millennials who want any excuse to burst into tears. Look at me, I’m sad and emotional, look at me, LOOK AT ME!!!

14. I liked that Cap was still in charge and led the team. The “Avengers Assemble” battle cry was a good, albeit brief, point in the movie before it all went batshit crazy.

15. How come so few of the squad dies? I counted Black Widow, Stark and er … that’s it. The combined might of Thanos and his crew against all of the Avengers and none of them die in battle apart from Stark? This is an Angry Thanos we’re talking about not the Guildford Women’s Auxiliary Balloon Core.

16. You don’t really get to see the Avengers using their super powers much. The bit when Barton goes beserk in Japan was cool and the Cap vs. Cap fight was very cool but that was about it.

17. I liked it when Tony loses his temper early on arguing with Cap about his ring of defence to protect the Earth. Shades of Civil War there which for me is still *the* best MCU movie. More of this dialogue needed with friction between the team, and less about irrelevant stuff like “feelings”.

18. The whole Quantum Realm time travel element of Endgame fucks things up and I’ve been trying to get my head around it.

Banner tells the Avengers that if you travel to the past, that past becomes your future. And the former present becomes the past which can’t now be changed by the new future. Or in other words, once something has happened, it can’t be changed but you can create a new version of it where things are different.

So.

Endgame is set in 2023 (five years after Infinity Wars which was 2018).

Nebula and Hawkeye travel back in time to 2014 (GoTG) to get the power stone. 2014 Thanos does not yet have all the power stones and there are now two Nebula’s in this space time; 2014 Nebula and 2023 Nebula.

In this new reality, 2014 Nebula kidnaps 2023 Nebula and replaces her to travel forward to 2023 with Hawkeye which is now a different version to the one in IW. Let’s call this different version of reality v2.0.

2014 Nebula uses the Avengers kit to open a wormhole to v2.0 so 2014 Thanos can arrive and get all the stones in 2023. However, when 2014 Thanos is dusted by Iron Man, the other version of reality has already happened because it’s in the past which as Banner said can’t be changed. So in other words, the events of Infinity War happened and can’t be stopped but the events of v2.0 can be changed as they now become the future. This means everyone has to be dusted in IW but in the v2.0 reality, can be brought back.

Or in simple terms, you can’t stop Thanos getting rid of the 50% because its happened but you can bring them back.

I think.

Now, if Cap returns the stones to the exact same place, the events of 2018 *do* happen in Infinity War so the whole 50% of existence being wiped out *does* occur anyway. Why bother returning the stones then? What’s the point of doing that if they’ve already brought everyone back and the past can’t be changed?

The whole time travel thing makes it complicated and the explanation in the movie about how the Quantum Realm is not Back To The Future so changing things in the past doesn’t affect future events makes it even more confusing. I reckon the whole time travel arc is a balls up, badly explained, shoved in to tie up all the loose ends and a bit of a cop out. Unless you’re an expert in the Marvel Multiverse bollocks then it makes as much sense as 1980’s Japanese VCR instruction manual.

 

Yes, it’s just a movie but when you’ve invested time and effort in the entire MCU back catalogue, it’s a bit of a kick in the balls when the final installament falls flat. Endgame is easily the the worst of the 4 Avengers flicks. If this is the direction they’re going, I’ll be glad to see the back of it.

Score: 2/5

(or a 3/5 when it’s available on home media so I don’t have watch it with an audience that’s been conditioned and spoonfed to whoop and holler)

Randon Annoyances: Screen Protectors

Doesn’t matter whether it’s the rubbish plastic film or the proper tempered glass screen protectors, they’re all a complete PITA to apply.

The plastic film type are virtually impossible to put on without at least a few air bubbles unless you have the patience of a saint and the type of steady hand and meticulous attention to detail that would better suit brain surgery, whilst the glass ones require a sterile working environment more suited to forensics complete with chem suit to ensure no dust gets under the screen.

Why can’t companies just pay a few quid and apply a proper glass screen protector at the factory? Huawei has the right idea, most of their phones come with a factory applied protector of sorts so it’s ready to go out of the box.