Why is the UK so fucking stupid?

Tuesday 18 October 2016 @ 9:18 am

The first gang of Calais based so-called “child” asylum seekers have been granted safe passage to the UK with a first class ticket to the benefits office. Looking at the pictures of these graspers, what strikes me, and pretty much everyone else except the cretins in the Home Office, is how old these “children” are. Most of them could pass for at least 21 and are clearly grown men so why are they being granted priority aslyum to the UK because they’re under 18 years of age?

The second thing that’s immediately obvious is that all the men children are Asian lads. Not a single girl amongst them. Genuine asylum seekers from Syria? Shyeah, right. More like a bunch of scamming illegal immigrants or economic migrants from Pakistan and Afghanistan who are just looking for the next meal ticket.

Thirdly, they must have crossed at least four safe countries and not a single one of them looks like they’ve been fleeing war. Whatever happened to claiming asylum in the first safe country they arrive in? Naaa, fuck that, we want the exciting range of UK benefits on offer.

All of these “kids” are clothed, well-fed, wearing the latest “gear”, holding the obligatory smartphone and are not in way shape or form “refugees” or “victims”. Just one look at the grinning smirks pasted all over their Chevy Chase, complete with five o clock shadow, and it’s obvious the bogus migrants can’t believe their luck. Oh, and make sure you remember these faces because they’ll soon be staring at you from a Police photofit describing suspects wanted for rape and other sexual crimes.

Why is the UK so fucking stupid when it comes to immigration? Any other sane country would have shipped the immigrants back on whatever banana boat they scurried across to Europe from. Not the mug UK though, whilst the rest of the world laughs at our lunacy in admitting fully grown strapping men under the auspicious tag of “child” refugees, the rest of the asylum bastards are busy throwing away their passports (strange how they never lose their fucking iPhones) and cooking up a cockamamie story to persuade gullible UK officials that they haven’t yet reached puberty.

The immigration centre in Croydon is called Lunar House which is a very apt name for a lunatic asylum full of lunatics. Worst still, this is only the first wave of “children” asylum seekers, more will follow as the word gets out that all you need to do is claim you’re under 18 for a free trip to Treasure Island UK where you’ll be showered with free halal food, free clothes, free schooling, medical care, housing, benefits and pocket money.

Meanwhile, the real children left in the Calais camp, the ones who are 7 or 8 or 9 and who need the most help and are the most vulnerable, are left behind.

Rip-off scamming Camelot bump up the ticket price and slash the odds

Friday 7 October 2016 @ 10:09 pm

Lottery operator and certified rip-off scam artists Camelot announced a few months back that the price of lottery tickets would increase whilst the odds of winning the jackpot will be helpfully slashed to a 1 in 140 million gazillion chance.

By forcing punters to choose an extra number, SCamelot claim there will be bigger jackpots with higher starting figures conveniently ignoring the fact that virtually everyone wants smaller jackpots with lower starting figures and an increased chance of winning. Who the fuck really needs £14mil anyway? For most, even a cool mil will be enough.

Let’s not forget that greedy bastards SCamelot are owned by the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan who have wasted no time in milking it for every last penny through dubious fiddles and fannying about so that the chances of winning anything have been gradually reduced over the year whilst the cost of buying a ticket has risen. No wonder ticket sales have dropped off a cliff, punters are just not interested anymore.

The whole thing needs to be run on a strictly non-profit basis and SCamelots lottery balls need to be kicked hard.

Well that’s the end of Pokemon Go then

Monday 26 September 2016 @ 10:18 pm

So I’ve been grimly clinging on to v0.35 of Pokemon Go because the later versions don’t work on rooted devices but a forced update has now scuppered that.

In a way it’s good because it means I waste less time catching feckin’ pigeons and rats but on the other hand, it totally sucks because so much time has been invested in catching feckin’ pigeons and rats, as well as rare Pokemon, not to mention hatching eggs and powering up levels.

Why Niantic had to screw around with the game and stop it working on rooted phones is anyone’s guess but you know what? Fuck ’em. I’m done with Pokemon Go and Niantic can shove it.

Nobody cares about the Olympics

Sunday 11 September 2016 @ 10:55 pm

There are howls of protest at the huge numbers of empty seats in Rio for the Paralympics. Apart from the fact that Brazil got scammed and bullied into hosting this feeble crock of crap, why is anybody surprised at this?

Athletics has never been a huge spectator sport or one that commands an enthusiastic audience. Outside of the shitty Olympics, which is nothing more than a shady shindig to line the pockets of corporate sponsors, hangers-on and the corrupt IOC, you rarely see stadiums full to the brim with cheering supporters.

As for the Paralympics, I’m sick and tired of it being shoved down my throat as some kind of mandatory viewing that demands attention. I have zero interest in any Olympic “event”, some of which are laughably stupid to be even considered sporting (Dressage? Really?), so why would I even bother with the Paralympics?

And before the PC brigade start whipping out their discrimination bells, I’ve got nothing against anyone who wants to take part. Just quit pestering the rest of us to watch this nonsense.

What Pokemon Go tells you about London

Wednesday 24 August 2016 @ 10:07 pm

It’s infested with feckin’ pigeons and rats. If I never catch another Pidgey and Rattata again, it’ll be too soon.

Vote Brexit and get Remainer

Thursday 14 July 2016 @ 7:55 pm

So we won it. Well done all those who voted for a bold, brave new, economically prosperous future without the shitty EU trying to scupper everything, and the increasingly ludicrous Remainer Stories of Doom.

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for the victorious Brexit campaign to be stitched up by a dubious leadership contest whereby Tory MP’s, the majority of whom are Remainers, voted in a fellow Remainer in the guise of Theresa May, the useless former Home Secretary who has been instrumental in keeping the UK borders open over the last 6 years by refusing to kick out dodgy asylum seekers and bogus immigrants. In short, asking Ma May to be in charge of Brexit is like asking Cameron to be in charge of negotiating an EU deal that favours the UK.

May is another turncoat Tory who frequently cited anti-EU sentiments only to bottle it when it came to the crunch and side with the Remain camp. She will no doubt take her merry time invoking Article 50 whilst pandering to the EU bastards and letting odious cretins like Nicola Sturgeon stall the process.

Had the leadership contest gone to the grassroot members, it might very well have been a Brexiteer in charge but Tory in-fighting and backstabbing ensured May was shoe-horned into the top job. The result? After a stunningly democratic referendum, we’re now left with an unelected PM with no public mandate who would much rather we never left the EU and continue throwing cash into the corrupt Brussels coffers.

Thank Evans he’s gone

Monday 4 July 2016 @ 8:08 pm

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Chris Evans has packed in the Top Gear job after just one series. Don’t feel sorry for him, his ego couldn’t take the pressure or criticism and a show like Top Gear very quickly shows Evans many shortcomings as a presenter. Being shouty and trying to be zany whilst emulating Jezza just doesn’t cut the mustard and the lack of originality in the new series was shocking.

Just need to ditch Eddie Jordan and Rory Reid now, give Matt Le Blanc a more prominent presenting role and tweak the Top Gear format so it actually resembles a decent show rather than a pale imitation.