Mamma May confirms Brexit

Tuesday 17 January 2017 @ 11:22 pm

PM Theresa May has finally unveiled her 12 point Brexit plan in a major speech earlier today. About bloody time too.

On paper it all looks good; Brexit means Brexit; no stupid half-in half-out deal; controlling immigration; fuck the EU courts and their rulings; and a threat that the EU will be crushed if they try to screw us over on trade deals.

Here’s what I don’t get; why the fuck does all this need to be approved by Parliament and the Lords? Most of these bastards are diehard re-moaners who are desperately trying to stop Brexit. No surprise then that dickhead LibDumb leader (of 9 MP’s natch which is 9 too many) Tim Farron popped up like a boil to declare a “theft of democracy” by the 17+ million and 52% who voted in favour of Brexit. Yeah, ok Timster, why don’t you feck off back to whatever hippy commune voted you in and have another plate of mung beans.

Meanwhile, faggoty Europhile Peter Mandelslime was doing the rounds on TV bleating some nonsense about how there is no “clicky finger solution” and why Britain’s future lies with open borders, free movement (presumably so he has a ready supply of cheap rent boys) and ever more money shovelled into the EU cesspit. This is the same Mandelslime who resigned twice in disgrace from Government and then promptly buggered off (literally) to Brussels to become an EU Commissioner. You can always rely on the EU to give a prominent gold plated meal ticket + index linked inflation proof pension to failed politicians and has-beens which is why so many are in favour of it.

Following May’s speech, the pound has already shot up against the major currencies so the markets look optimistic. Ma May has said Brexit will be triggered before March-end this year and frankly, the sooner the better.


The ridiculous popularity of YouTube gamers

Friday 23 December 2016 @ 10:45 pm

Here’s something I really don’t get; the ridiculous popularity of YouTubers with millions of subscribers who will happily sit for hours watching them play a video game that they likely already own. Back in the 80’s, the very worst part of video gaming, apart from having to wait for the tape deck to load the game, was having to sit and watch someone else play and not getting a turn.

The whole social media thing is a complete crock of crap. I don’t do FarceBook, Twatter, InstaCack, SnapShite or any other number of pointless social media platforms simply because I can’t imagine anyone would be the least bit interested in me and I’m certainly not interested in other peoples mindless ramblings (DISCLAIMER: I realise the irony of posting this on a blog).

Why on earth do these self-important cretins think that anyone would actually be absorbed by what they had for lunch or what they’re wearing or who they saw? Almost every post seems to comprise not-so-subtle product placements, stupid pictures of everyday mundane objects or airbrushed photos of people pretending they have a wonderful life filled with copious amounts of hot sex. And it’s not just people either, companies are increasingly using Twitter for customer service which means more and more people think they should kick up a fuss and tell the World + Dog about it just to get satisfaction. Net result? Everyone wants to be a zelebrity with their 15 minutes of fame and shortcut to easy riches.

Those famous celebrities, who are famous for nothing except being a celebrity, or releasing an “accidental” sex tap, are to blame. Social Media is now filled with nobody’s who want to be a pointless somebody, namely the latest footballer flashing their gold plated Lambo complete with hookers in the passenger seat or the identikit Instagram models who seem to do nothing all day except swan around the world at the behest of rich horny geriatrics. Is this really what we want our children to aspire to?

Oh for the days when life was much simpler, we didn’t have all of this social media BS and gaming meant a shelf full of £9.99 tapes, a cassette deck and actually enjoying playing video games with your mates.


The Grand Tour – welcome back Clarkson, Hammond and May

Sunday 20 November 2016 @ 11:03 pm

Just watched the first new episode of The Grand Tour and it’s so much better than Top Gear. Everything screams quality and the whole thing has been shot like a movie. It looks absolutely stunning and it’s so much funnier than before now that the jokes don’t have to be vetted by the ridiculous PC obsessed lefty cretins at the BBC. Compared to The Grand Tour, new Top Gear is tired, dated and looks embarrassingly cheap.

There are a few wobbles; The American is about as likeable as gangrene and the celebrity bit was all a bit cringe but on the whole, this just goes to prove that Top Gear was never really about cars and more about the banter between Clarkson, Hammond and May. How the BBC will be kicking themselves to let this money spinner go and you know what? Serves ’em right. Fuck the BBC and the TV licence crap.

In the meantime, we’ve got a glorious series of The Grand Tour to look forward to and I can’t wait. Welcome back lads, you’ve been sorely missed.


Why is the UK so fucking stupid?

Tuesday 18 October 2016 @ 9:18 am

The first gang of Calais based so-called “child” asylum seekers have been granted safe passage to the UK with a first class ticket to the benefits office. Looking at the pictures of these graspers, what strikes me, and pretty much everyone else except the cretins in the Home Office, is how old these “children” are. Most of them could pass for at least 21 and are clearly grown men so why are they being granted priority aslyum to the UK because they’re under 18 years of age?

The second thing that’s immediately obvious is that all the men children are Asian lads. Not a single girl amongst them. Genuine asylum seekers from Syria? Shyeah, right. More like a bunch of scamming illegal immigrants or economic migrants from Pakistan and Afghanistan who are just looking for the next meal ticket.

Thirdly, they must have crossed at least four safe countries and not a single one of them looks like they’ve been fleeing war. Whatever happened to claiming asylum in the first safe country they arrive in? Naaa, fuck that, we want the exciting range of UK benefits on offer.

All of these “kids” are clothed, well-fed, wearing the latest “gear”, holding the obligatory smartphone and are not in way shape or form “refugees” or “victims”. Just one look at the grinning smirks pasted all over their Chevy Chase, complete with five o clock shadow, and it’s obvious the bogus migrants can’t believe their luck. Oh, and make sure you remember these faces because they’ll soon be staring at you from a Police photofit describing suspects wanted for rape and other sexual crimes.

Why is the UK so fucking stupid when it comes to immigration? Any other sane country would have shipped the immigrants back on whatever banana boat they scurried across to Europe from. Not the mug UK though, whilst the rest of the world laughs at our lunacy in admitting fully grown strapping men under the auspicious tag of “child” refugees, the rest of the asylum bastards are busy throwing away their passports (strange how they never lose their fucking iPhones) and cooking up a cockamamie story to persuade gullible UK officials that they haven’t yet reached puberty.

The immigration centre in Croydon is called Lunar House which is a very apt name for a lunatic asylum full of lunatics. Worst still, this is only the first wave of “children” asylum seekers, more will follow as the word gets out that all you need to do is claim you’re under 18 for a free trip to Treasure Island UK where you’ll be showered with free halal food, free clothes, free schooling, medical care, housing, benefits and pocket money.

Meanwhile, the real children left in the Calais camp, the ones who are 7 or 8 or 9 and who need the most help and are the most vulnerable, are left behind.


Rip-off scamming Camelot bump up the ticket price and slash the odds

Friday 7 October 2016 @ 10:09 pm

Lottery operator and certified rip-off scam artists Camelot announced a few months back that the price of lottery tickets would increase whilst the odds of winning the jackpot will be helpfully slashed to a 1 in 140 million gazillion chance.

By forcing punters to choose an extra number, SCamelot claim there will be bigger jackpots with higher starting figures conveniently ignoring the fact that virtually everyone wants smaller jackpots with lower starting figures and an increased chance of winning. Who the fuck really needs £14mil anyway? For most, even a cool mil will be enough.

Let’s not forget that greedy bastards SCamelot are owned by the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan who have wasted no time in milking it for every last penny through dubious fiddles and fannying about so that the chances of winning anything have been gradually reduced over the year whilst the cost of buying a ticket has risen. No wonder ticket sales have dropped off a cliff, punters are just not interested anymore.

The whole thing needs to be run on a strictly non-profit basis and SCamelots lottery balls need to be kicked hard.


Well that’s the end of Pokemon Go then

Monday 26 September 2016 @ 10:18 pm

So I’ve been grimly clinging on to v0.35 of Pokemon Go because the later versions don’t work on rooted devices but a forced update has now scuppered that.

In a way it’s good because it means I waste less time catching feckin’ pigeons and rats but on the other hand, it totally sucks because so much time has been invested in catching feckin’ pigeons and rats, as well as rare Pokemon, not to mention hatching eggs and powering up levels.

Why Niantic had to screw around with the game and stop it working on rooted phones is anyone’s guess but you know what? Fuck ’em. I’m done with Pokemon Go and Niantic can shove it.


Nobody cares about the Olympics

Sunday 11 September 2016 @ 10:55 pm

There are howls of protest at the huge numbers of empty seats in Rio for the Paralympics. Apart from the fact that Brazil got scammed and bullied into hosting this feeble crock of crap, why is anybody surprised at this?

Athletics has never been a huge spectator sport or one that commands an enthusiastic audience. Outside of the shitty Olympics, which is nothing more than a shady shindig to line the pockets of corporate sponsors, hangers-on and the corrupt IOC, you rarely see stadiums full to the brim with cheering supporters.

As for the Paralympics, I’m sick and tired of it being shoved down my throat as some kind of mandatory viewing that demands attention. I have zero interest in any Olympic “event”, some of which are laughably stupid to be even considered sporting (Dressage? Really?), so why would I even bother with the Paralympics?

And before the PC brigade start whipping out their discrimination bells, I’ve got nothing against anyone who wants to take part. Just quit pestering the rest of us to watch this nonsense.