New, New Top Gear is rubbish

Wednesday 17 July 2019 @ 9:01 pm

I honestly thought Top Gear couldn’t get any worse with a grinning Chris Evans, but new presenters Paddy McGuinness and Freddie Flintoff make the Evans version look like a work of art.

The big problem? That’s easy, it’s the feckin’ accents and Freddie Flintoff who’s as wooden as a carpenters workshop. Plus, neither of the two new presenters know the slightest thing about cars. It’s like getting a village idiot to chair a political debate.

First up, those accents; I genuinely have to switch on the subtitles because I just can’t understand what the fuck McGuiness and Flintoff are saying most of the time. Both their accents are as thick as a mattress sandwich and I hate the way they gang up on Chris Harris in what looks like borderline bullying.

Accent aside, I don’t mind Paddy too much. He’s no Matt Le Blanc that’s for sure but at least the camera work is passable. Flintoff on the other hand, is just a complete tool with zero charm, zero presenting skills and a really awkward on-screen manner that makes you wanna just punch him in the gob so he’ll shut up.

It’s a real shame because the Matt, Chris and Rory combination was working. Once they got rid of Evans and brought Reid into the main team, it settled down a lot more and was enjoyable, entertaining and informative. All three which are sorely missing from the new new version.

I understand Le Blanc wanting to leave so he could spend more time with the family but it’s a shame to let Reid go when they could have just replaced Matt with someone else. Still, it’s typically of the BBC to fuck around with things in the name of “diversity”. As far as the BBC is concerned, they’ve managed to tick the box marked “regional accents” whilst ignoring the fact that ultimately, it’s still a show about cars which is why they’ve gone for two presenters who know nothing about cars (and one who seems to know nothing about anything except cricket).

Do you wanna know how bad New New Top Gear is with these two? I’ve watched pretty much every single episode of Top Gear, even with Chris Evans, but I just don’t bother anymore.


New Top Gear rocks

Sunday 12 March 2017 @ 10:49 pm

It’s official; Top Gear without Chris Evans is so much better, the difference is night and day. Sure the banter between Matt, Chris and Rory is a little forced and you can see the scripting from space but give it time. The Star in a Reasonably Fast Car slot is a nice angle and Rory Reid is much less annoying than before. I think being co-presenter has reigned in some of the Cockney Geezer act and it suits him far more to have a couple of other blokes to share the screen with.

Matt’s relaxed style of presenting means that it’s up to Chris to fill the role of enthusiastic car geek with Rory as the everyday guy who just likes cars. No sign of Eddie Jordan but he’s not missed and Sabine seems to have been given the heave-ho too.

The road trip with cars that had a million miles on the clock was a fine start and the sofa chit chat wasn’t half bad either, especially the bit about continuity errors in the film Ronin.

With a little polish and a few tweaks, I reckon new Top Gear will really work. Well done lads, genuinely looking forward to the rest of the series.


The ridiculous popularity of YouTube gamers

Friday 23 December 2016 @ 10:45 pm

Here’s something I really don’t get; the ridiculous popularity of YouTubers with millions of subscribers who will happily sit for hours watching them play a video game that they likely already own. Back in the 80’s, the very worst part of video gaming, apart from having to wait for the tape deck to load the game, was having to sit and watch someone else play and not getting a turn.

The whole social media thing is a complete crock of crap. I don’t do FarceBook, Twatter, InstaCack, SnapShite or any other number of pointless social media platforms simply because I can’t imagine anyone would be the least bit interested in me and I’m certainly not interested in other peoples mindless ramblings (DISCLAIMER: I realise the irony of posting this on a blog).

Why on earth do these self-important cretins think that anyone would actually be absorbed by what they had for lunch or what they’re wearing or who they saw? Almost every post seems to comprise not-so-subtle product placements, stupid pictures of everyday mundane objects or airbrushed photos of people pretending they have a wonderful life filled with copious amounts of hot sex. And it’s not just people either, companies are increasingly using Twitter for customer service which means more and more people think they should kick up a fuss and tell the World + Dog about it just to get satisfaction. Net result? Everyone wants to be a zelebrity with their 15 minutes of fame and shortcut to easy riches.

Those famous celebrities, who are famous for nothing except being a celebrity, or releasing an “accidental” sex tap, are to blame. Social Media is now filled with nobody’s who want to be a pointless somebody, namely the latest footballer flashing their gold plated Lambo complete with hookers in the passenger seat or the identikit Instagram models who seem to do nothing all day except swan around the world at the behest of rich horny geriatrics. Is this really what we want our children to aspire to?

Oh for the days when life was much simpler, we didn’t have all of this social media BS and gaming meant a shelf full of £9.99 tapes, a cassette deck and actually enjoying playing video games with your mates.


The Grand Tour – welcome back Clarkson, Hammond and May

Sunday 20 November 2016 @ 11:03 pm

Just watched the first new episode of The Grand Tour and it’s so much better than Top Gear. Everything screams quality and the whole thing has been shot like a movie. It looks absolutely stunning and it’s so much funnier than before now that the jokes don’t have to be vetted by the ridiculous PC obsessed lefty cretins at the BBC. Compared to The Grand Tour, new Top Gear is tired, dated and looks embarrassingly cheap.

There are a few wobbles; The American is about as likeable as gangrene and the celebrity bit was all a bit cringe but on the whole, this just goes to prove that Top Gear was never really about cars and more about the banter between Clarkson, Hammond and May. How the BBC will be kicking themselves to let this money spinner go and you know what? Serves ’em right. Fuck the BBC and the TV licence crap.

In the meantime, we’ve got a glorious series of The Grand Tour to look forward to and I can’t wait. Welcome back lads, you’ve been sorely missed.


Thank Evans he’s gone

Monday 4 July 2016 @ 8:08 pm

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Chris Evans has packed in the Top Gear job after just one series. Don’t feel sorry for him, his ego couldn’t take the pressure or criticism and a show like Top Gear very quickly shows Evans many shortcomings as a presenter. Being shouty and trying to be zany whilst emulating Jezza just doesn’t cut the mustard and the lack of originality in the new series was shocking.

Just need to ditch Eddie Jordan and Rory Reid now, give Matt Le Blanc a more prominent presenting role and tweak the Top Gear format so it actually resembles a decent show rather than a pale imitation.


Top Gear plumbs new depths

Monday 20 June 2016 @ 2:14 pm

Eddie Jordan playing the spoons, really? I mean REALLY? Could it BE more embarrassing?

Meanwhile, Chris Evans is marginally less annoying and Rory Reid still has nothing worthwhile to say when reviewing cars. Oh, and asking the guests to introduce each other by reading from the autocue is just plain daft.


Chris Evans not the worst presenter on Top Gear

Tuesday 14 June 2016 @ 10:56 am

Three episodes in and Top Gear has improved a little by Chris Evans taking more of a back seat although ratings have halved and barely scrape 2 mil (old Top Gear regularly managed more than 5 mil). The less he’s on-screen, the better. However, Evans is no longer the worst presenter on Top Gear, that dubious honour has been firmly taken by Rory Reid.

Rory had his first slot yesterday on the main Top Gear, having already presented the spinoff series (which I never bothered watching) and he’s terrible. He’s trying hard to be funny (he’s not), informative (he’s not) and down wit’ da kidz (he’s not).

The worst of it is the ridiculous Cockney cheeky chappie persona, all “geezer, innit” and lame ass jokes. If Evans is trying hard to be Clarkson v2, Reid is undoubtedly trying hard to be Hammond v2. The sooner Rory Reid completely disappears off Top Gear, nay TV completely, the better.

Meanwhile, it’s still Matt Le Blanc who’s holding it all together and the most comfortable. Give this guy a contract extension and pair him up with a better set of presenters if you want Top Gear to survive.