New Top Gear rocks

Sunday 12 March 2017 @ 10:49 pm

It’s official; Top Gear without Chris Evans is so much better, the difference is night and day. Sure the banter between Matt, Chris and Rory is a little forced and you can see the scripting from space but give it time. The Star in a Reasonably Fast Car slot is a nice angle and Rory Reid is much less annoying than before. I think being co-presenter has reigned in some of the Cockney Geezer act and it suits him far more to have a couple of other blokes to share the screen with.

Matt’s relaxed style of presenting means that it’s up to Chris to fill the role of enthusiastic car geek with Rory as the everyday guy who just likes cars. No sign of Eddie Jordan but he’s not missed and Sabine seems to have been given the heave-ho too.

The road trip with cars that had a million miles on the clock was a fine start and the sofa chit chat wasn’t half bad either, especially the bit about continuity errors in the film Ronin.

With a little polish and a few tweaks, I reckon new Top Gear will really work. Well done lads, genuinely looking forward to the rest of the series.


The ridiculous popularity of YouTube gamers

Friday 23 December 2016 @ 10:45 pm

Here’s something I really don’t get; the ridiculous popularity of YouTubers with millions of subscribers who will happily sit for hours watching them play a video game that they likely already own. Back in the 80’s, the very worst part of video gaming, apart from having to wait for the tape deck to load the game, was having to sit and watch someone else play and not getting a turn.

The whole social media thing is a complete crock of crap. I don’t do FarceBook, Twatter, InstaCack, SnapShite or any other number of pointless social media platforms simply because I can’t imagine anyone would be the least bit interested in me and I’m certainly not interested in other peoples mindless ramblings (DISCLAIMER: I realise the irony of posting this on a blog).

Why on earth do these self-important cretins think that anyone would actually be absorbed by what they had for lunch or what they’re wearing or who they saw? Almost every post seems to comprise not-so-subtle product placements, stupid pictures of everyday mundane objects or airbrushed photos of people pretending they have a wonderful life filled with copious amounts of hot sex. And it’s not just people either, companies are increasingly using Twitter for customer service which means more and more people think they should kick up a fuss and tell the World + Dog about it just to get satisfaction. Net result? Everyone wants to be a zelebrity with their 15 minutes of fame and shortcut to easy riches.

Those famous celebrities, who are famous for nothing except being a celebrity, or releasing an “accidental” sex tap, are to blame. Social Media is now filled with nobody’s who want to be a pointless somebody, namely the latest footballer flashing their gold plated Lambo complete with hookers in the passenger seat or the identikit Instagram models who seem to do nothing all day except swan around the world at the behest of rich horny geriatrics. Is this really what we want our children to aspire to?

Oh for the days when life was much simpler, we didn’t have all of this social media BS and gaming meant a shelf full of £9.99 tapes, a cassette deck and actually enjoying playing video games with your mates.


The Grand Tour – welcome back Clarkson, Hammond and May

Sunday 20 November 2016 @ 11:03 pm

Just watched the first new episode of The Grand Tour and it’s so much better than Top Gear. Everything screams quality and the whole thing has been shot like a movie. It looks absolutely stunning and it’s so much funnier than before now that the jokes don’t have to be vetted by the ridiculous PC obsessed lefty cretins at the BBC. Compared to The Grand Tour, new Top Gear is tired, dated and looks embarrassingly cheap.

There are a few wobbles; The American is about as likeable as gangrene and the celebrity bit was all a bit cringe but on the whole, this just goes to prove that Top Gear was never really about cars and more about the banter between Clarkson, Hammond and May. How the BBC will be kicking themselves to let this money spinner go and you know what? Serves ’em right. Fuck the BBC and the TV licence crap.

In the meantime, we’ve got a glorious series of The Grand Tour to look forward to and I can’t wait. Welcome back lads, you’ve been sorely missed.


Thank Evans he’s gone

Monday 4 July 2016 @ 8:08 pm

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Chris Evans has packed in the Top Gear job after just one series. Don’t feel sorry for him, his ego couldn’t take the pressure or criticism and a show like Top Gear very quickly shows Evans many shortcomings as a presenter. Being shouty and trying to be zany whilst emulating Jezza just doesn’t cut the mustard and the lack of originality in the new series was shocking.

Just need to ditch Eddie Jordan and Rory Reid now, give Matt Le Blanc a more prominent presenting role and tweak the Top Gear format so it actually resembles a decent show rather than a pale imitation.


Top Gear plumbs new depths

Monday 20 June 2016 @ 2:14 pm

Eddie Jordan playing the spoons, really? I mean REALLY? Could it BE more embarrassing?

Meanwhile, Chris Evans is marginally less annoying and Rory Reid still has nothing worthwhile to say when reviewing cars. Oh, and asking the guests to introduce each other by reading from the autocue is just plain daft.


Chris Evans not the worst presenter on Top Gear

Tuesday 14 June 2016 @ 10:56 am

Three episodes in and Top Gear has improved a little by Chris Evans taking more of a back seat although ratings have halved and barely scrape 2 mil (old Top Gear regularly managed more than 5 mil). The less he’s on-screen, the better. However, Evans is no longer the worst presenter on Top Gear, that dubious honour has been firmly taken by Rory Reid.

Rory had his first slot yesterday on the main Top Gear, having already presented the spinoff series (which I never bothered watching) and he’s terrible. He’s trying hard to be funny (he’s not), informative (he’s not) and down wit’ da kidz (he’s not).

The worst of it is the ridiculous Cockney cheeky chappie persona, all “geezer, innit” and lame ass jokes. If Evans is trying hard to be Clarkson v2, Reid is undoubtedly trying hard to be Hammond v2. The sooner Rory Reid completely disappears off Top Gear, nay TV completely, the better.

Meanwhile, it’s still Matt Le Blanc who’s holding it all together and the most comfortable. Give this guy a contract extension and pair him up with a better set of presenters if you want Top Gear to survive.


Chris Evans ruins Top Gear

Sunday 29 May 2016 @ 11:16 pm

So New Top Gear with irritating idiot Chris Evans was every bit as bad as I thought it would be. All of the studio segments were embarrassingly bad with Evans whooping and shouting like a juvenile making it a total crap fest. He gave us a few cringe worthy gems like “c’mon everybody” when doing the rally cross car piece and offered a lame joke about catering that couldn’t have been more well signposted if it’d been entered into a satnav. I feel sorry for the audience who were no doubt bullied into clapping and cheering at totally the wrong moments to satisfy Evans gigantic ego.

What’s strange is that the format has barely changed with Evans even trying to ape Clarkson at every turn which is just daft. Everyone knows Chris is no wit so even trying is pointless. There were a few redeeming moments, mainly whenever Chris wasn’t on screen but on the whole, this was a rubbish Top Gear salvaged only by Matt Le Blanc who is everything that Chris Evans isn’t; cool, calm, comfortable, collected, charming, likeable and funny with a dry wit.

Here’s a quick run down of the main segments.

Opener
Off to a bad start with Chris bouncing around and yelling at the camera trying to hype up the new show. A crap joke about catering falls flatter than a pancake on a plank and has obviously been shoehorned in for no other reason than to make a sly dig at Clarkson. The audience looks ashamed at having been forced to laugh at this drivel.

Dodge Viper vs. Corvette
Filmed in a Top Gun airbase, I actually liked this piece although it would have been a lot better without Evans. Sabine is funny and entertaining but her appearance is all too brief. Back in the studio, Evans desperately tries to copy Clarkson when introducing the Stig for the lap and the audience once more looks as though their laughing faces have been painted on.

Blackpool Road Trip (part 1)
Matt and Chris drive a couple of Reliant Rialto’s to Blackpool. This is the first time we get to see Matt in his new role as Top Gear presenter and it’s soon clear that he’s far more suited to be the main presenter. Unfortunately, Matt’s car breaks down so we don’t actually get to see him driving much and Evans is as irritating as ever.

Rally Cross Car
The guest slot has stars driving a new rally cross Mini car on a revised course which is dramatically revealed by Evans as some sort of genius plan. The two guests are introduced and smug Evans wastes no time in showing how crap he is as an interviewer. The chit chat is forced, contrived and whereas Clarkson gently teases out some interesting trivia from the guests, Evans goes down the route of interviewing as if he’s reading the dummy cards using a Ladybird Big Book Of Interviewing Tips. I’ve attended funerals that were more comfortable and interesting than this. Evans commentary on the actual laps is so bad that I actually turn the volume down. The audience are encouraged to clap during the lap when the Mini manages a pathetic little jump or barely slides around corner. This by far is the worst segment of the whole show.

Nomad Off-Roader
Matt’s first solo piece and it’s good. His dry sense of humour and relaxed delivery is totally the opposite of Evans and suits Top Gear far more. More importantly, he connects with the audience on several occasions when looking at the car mounted camera and it all looks so much more professional. Matt with the right co-presenter would make a great Top Gear.


Blackpool Road Trip (part 2)

Matt and Chris do a series of challenges with their Rialto’s and once again, Matt comes across as the more comfortable presenter whilst Evans gives the audience another 10 reasons to switch off. Overall, a good piece which again would have been a lot better without Chris. Roll the credits and good riddance to Evan’s bluster.

 

Overall then, the answer to the question “How to make Top Gear great again?” is clear: ditch Chris Evans as soon as possible and make it Top Gear presented by Joey and Chandler.