Stop bashing Megan Markle

Sick and tired of all the hate for Megan Markle. I’m no fan of the Royals, have never watched Suits, and quite frankly, would be pleased as Punch if the whole monarchy collapsed along with all the useless toffs who can’t wait to bow and scrape in front of a bunch of Germans.

However, whatever you think of Markle, it was Harry’s choice. He’s a big boy who can make his own decisions and as long as we’re not having to pay for the whole sideshow, or it’s causing offence to anyone, let them be. It’s nobody’s business and I reckon the constant barrage of criticism is simply because Haters think Megs is in it for the money / fame / fortune / prestige all of the above.

So what if she is? I couldn’t care less if Megan is using the Royal moniker for her benefit; if Harry’s fine with it and none of the other useless Royals mind she’s not doing any harm.

I’m far more aggravated by the traitorous cretins in Parliament who are doing everything to subvert the democratic will of 17+ million people that voted to leave the EU cesspit.

A consumer guide to LED spotlights

So I decided to change all my current MR16 GU5.3 50W halogen lighting (about 30 fittings) and join the glorious LED revolution. Here’s what happened.

Conversion from halogen to LED
Before diving into the LED jungle of bulbs, watts and colours, the first task was to convert the existing fittings. All the MR16 GU5.3 fittings, except the ones in the bathrooms (more on that later), were being run off individual halogen transformers to convert the mains 240V to 12V. My transformers had a power range of 20W to 60W which meant the minimum wattage bulb that could be used is 20W. This is no good for LED bulbs where the wattages are much lower (typically around 4-8W) so the fitting had to be converted. There are really only four options for this:

1. Replace existing halogen bulbs with MR16 GU5.3 LED bulbs (cheapest)
2. Convert the GU5.3 lamp holder to a GU10 lamp holder (cheap)
3. Use special Philips LED bulbs to work off existing halogen transformers (expensive)
4. Replace the transformer with an LED driver (most expensive)

 

Options 2 and 4 require some work whereas options 1 and 3 require nothing more than just changing the light bulb. If you have dimmers, this also makes a difference as to what you can use.

Let’s look at each in more detail.

 

1. Replace existing halogen bulbs with any MR16 GU5.3 LED bulbs
Depending on the transformer you have have, this might be an option. The bathrooms were using one transformer to power 3x 50W MR16 GU5.3 bulbs. I had a look at the 10+ year old transformers in the bathrooms but there was nothing on the labels other than it was 240V in and 12V out so I contacted the manufacturer with the model number. The response from the company was that these were toroidal transformers that didn’t have a wattage range and would work perfectly well driving LED bulbs.

Result! I ended up buying a box of normal MR16 GU5.3 LED bulbs and just replaced the existing 50W MR16 GU5.3 halogens with the new bulbs. If I’d known it was this easy, I’d have switched the bathrooms to LED years ago.

Again, it might work for you, it might not. Take a look at your transformers before trying it out.

 

2. Convert to a GU10 lamp holder
I went with this option to convert all my other halogens to LED. It involves ditching the transformers completely and replacing it with a GU10 lamp holder. Not only are there more GU10 LED bulbs available to choose from, but with no transformers, that’s one less thing to go wrong. As a bonus, you’ll also get rid of any horrible buzzing coming from the lights, especially when they’re dimmed.

The actual conversion takes a bit of time depending on how many bulbs you want to convert but the job is straightforward depending on access to the ceiling space and how comfortable you are with a couple of screwdrivers and electricity. Speaking of which, before starting, SWITCH OFF THE MAINS ELECTRICITY AND TURN ALL LIGHT SWITCHES OFF.

First thing to do is check if you can access the transformer in the ceiling recess / loft / attic as this makes it much easier. If not, or it’s too much of a faff to gain access, the next option is to remove your existing MR16 bulb and gently pull the cable to bring the transformer out of the fitting. All halogen and LED transformers are a standard width so that sucker should slip right out of a standard lamp holder fitting. Once removed, take a look at the wiring to see what’s there and how much room is available in the fitting as not only are GU10 lamp holders larger than MR16 GU5.3 but the bulbs are longer too so you’ll need a bit more space above the ceiling for a GU10 LED lamp.

My MR16 GU5.3 lamp holders were connected to the transformer via a junction box that clipped to the existing lamp fitting so I could just reuse the junction box to connect the GU10 lamp holder to the mains instead. Despite easy access to the ceiling recess (all the lights to be converted were on the top floor), a few were inaccessible because they were tucked away under the eaves so I changed these from the rooms below and then spent the rest of the day crawling around in the loft to finish the job.

Here are the detailed steps I took for the actual conversion. Before starting SWITCH OFF THE MAINS ELECTRICITY AND TURN ALL LIGHT SWITCHES OFF. Then DOUBLE CHECK MAINS ELECTRICITY AND ALL LIGHT SWITCHES ARE TURNED OFF. Finally, ARE YOU SURE THE MAINS ELECTRICITY AND ALL LIGHT SWITCHES ARE OFF? If in doubt, get a qualified Sparky round to do the job.

1. Disconnected the mains cable from the transformer. This left the transformer with a “tail” power cable connected to the junction box.
2. Disconnected the transformer tail-end power cable from the junction box which completely removed the transformer.
3. Disconnected the MR16 lamp holder from the other side of the junction box. This left the junction box with nothing connected and the MR16 lamp holder could now be completely removed.
4. Connected the new GU10 lamp holder to the junction box.
5. Connected the mains cable to the other side of the junction box.

 

Here’s a quick text diagram of how it looked before, during and after the conversion with reference to the steps above:

KEY 
==== mains cable
---- power cable
[Tran.] transformer
[J.Box] junction box
[-MR16] MR16 lamp holder with cable
[-GU10] GU10 lamp holder with cable


BEFORE 
====[Tran.]----[J.Box][-MR16]

AFTER 
====[J.Box][-GU10]

STEPS 
1. ====    [Tran.]----[J.Box][-MR16]
2. ====    [Tran.]----    [J.Box][-MR16]
3. ====    [J.Box]    [-MR16]
4. ====    [J.Box][-GU10]
5. ====[J.Box][-GU10]

As you can see, removing the transformer and MR16 lamp holder shortened the cable length to the fitting. I didn’t have any excess slack on the mains cable so used another junction box to lengthen the cable. I had to do this for a few of the fittings so bought a few extra junction boxes and re-used the tail end cables from the transformers to lengthen the run to the fitting. Here’s how those installations looked after the conversion:

====[J.Box]----[J.Box][-MR16]

And that’s it! Once converted, the LED bulbs could be fitted.

 

3. Use special Philips LED bulbs
By far the easiest option but an expensive one. In short, Philips sells a range of MR16 LED bulbs called Master Spot that can be retro fitted in those installations where you don’t want to (or can’t) remove / change the existing halogen transformer. It does this by having some clever circuitry in the bulb to handle the higher watts but there are a few considerations:

• it won’t work with all transformers (likely to flicker)
• dimming performance will vary (likely to flicker) and may not even work
• the bulb is physically larger than traditional MR16 halogen bulbs and even LED GU10 equivalents because of all the extra electronics

If you want the least hassle and a simple plug-and-play upgrade to LED, the Philips Master Spot are worth considering. I bought a few to try and they worked fine but the cost of replacing all 30 odd 50W halogens was three times more expensive than converting everything to GU10. It might work for you, it might not.

 

4. Replace the transformer with an LED driver (more expensive)
Replacing the halogen transformer with an LED driver is, in my opinion, the least sensible. If you are going to all the trouble of removing the halogen transformer, why not just convert it to GU10 which is much cheaper instead of replacing it with an LED driver?

If you absolutely want to stick with the MR16 fitting, the conversion is easier than converting to GU10 as all that is needed is to swap the halogen transformer for the LED driver. Here are some before and after diagrams of how it would look:

BEFORE 
====[Tran.]----[J.Box][-MR16]

AFTER 
====[LED.D]----[J.Box][-MR16]

The choice of MR16 GU5.3 LED bulbs is much less than GU10 LED but the light from MR16 bulbs tends to be brighter and nicer than GU10 plus dimming performance can also be smoother. No idea why but there you go.

 

Dimmer switches
If you have any dimmers, they might need to be replaced with LED compatible dimmer switches because of the lower watts consumed. Incompatible dimmer switches will cause your beautiful new LED lights to flicker more than a candle in a haunted house. I had to change all of mine as the existing dimmer range was 60W to 400W whereas the new LED’s would be pulling a maximum of 50W.

Some LED manufacturers recommend specific dimmers to use. Mine didn’t so I went for Varilight V-Pro dimmers which come in a range of finishes and have a good warranty and after service as well as being compatible with a wide range of LED bulbs.

Once again, before changing any dimmers, SWITCH OFF THE MAINS ELECTRICITY AND TURN ALL LIGHT SWITCHES OFF as you’ll be dealing with bare mains electrical cable. If in doubt, get a qualified Sparky round to do the job.

 

Which LED?

So now you have your fittings sorted, the next question, and the one that causes the most confusion, is which LED bulb to go for.

First things first, forget how many watts your old halogen bulbs use, it’s all about the lumens (brightness). This will be clearly displayed on the LED packaging and bulb and if it isn’t, find another bulb. Don’t get hung up over the actual wattage of the LED bulb either, your cost savings will be realised by going from 50W to anything less than 10W and not so much by fussing over whether to get a 6W or a 7W bulb.

Here are the other points to consider:

Colour
Do you want warm white, cool white or daylight? The colour that a lamp gives off is shown by the colour temperature of Kelvin measurement. The higher the rating, the whiter the colour is.

Warm White
A nice comforting warm yellowish white colour, like the glow from a gas fire lamp. Warm white lamps are rated between 2700k and 3000k and I went for these in all the rooms.

Cool white
Rated between 4000-4500K and gives a much cooler, crisper colour. This is quite nice to have in bathrooms, kitchens or any other work place but you can also use them around the house.

Daylight
Like daylight and rated between 5000-6200K. This is very bright but very blue and doesn’t really suit for inside a home as the lighting becomes very harsh. Best to keep these lamps for office use, outside lighting or large spaces.

Colour Rendering Index (CRI)
The higher the CRI number of a lamp, the more accurate and richer the colours are under that light. Most lamps are at least 80 CRI with more expensive and specialist LED’s (e.g. for lighting artwork) numbering 95. I bought a few to compare and the difference between a 95 and 80 bulb was barely noticeable. Certainly not worth the crazy premium that 95 LED’s command over 80 versions. As long as the LED you buy has a CRI of at least 80, I don’t think it’s worth paying a premium for the 95 rated LED lamps.

Dimmable
If you want to dim your lights, you’ll need a compatible LED dimmer switch and dimmable LED lamps which cost a little more than non-dimmable LED’s. If you don’t have a dimmer, there’s no point buying dimmable LED’s as the extra circuitry usually means a higher cost and a possibly less reliable lamp. The few LED’s that have failed in my setup were all dimmable versions.

Beam Angle
A narrow beam angle focuses the light on a particular spot. A wider beam angle spreads the light which tends to be softer. What you need to take into account is the height of your ceilings (higher ceiling means wider spread of light) and position of bulbs (further apart means potential darker spots between light fittings). I went for standard 45 degree angle LED lamps, the same as the halogens they were replacing.

Type / Aesthetics
There are two types of LED downlighters:

Chip on board (COB)
These have one big LED and tend to be the more expensive lamp. Because they have just the single LED, they use reflectors to spread the light which looks nicer, more like conventional halogens but with a cleaner, narrower focus than SMB. However, COB LED’s are less efficient and usually need more cooling. The choice is also much less.

Surface Mounted Diode (SMB)
The more common technology, these use lots of smaller LED’s, are more efficient and tend to be cheaper to buy. Because there is more than one LED, the light is brighter and spreads further with a wide beam angle. Most LED downlighters are SMB type so there’s lots of choice but huge variation in quality and how they look. The cheapest have no frosted lens cover, just a bare circuit board with LED’s, and look bloody awful. Others have weird arrangements of LED’s so the light isn’t spread very evenly or the lens cover looks like it has acne.

Warranty
There’s an awful lot of crap LED lamps available from dodgy Chinese companies. LED lamps also seem to be a little less reliable than conventional halogens so a bulletproof warranty is essential. I’ve had branded LED’s fail on arrival, after a few days, weeks and even months so being able to easy replace the LED under warranty is a must. Some companies want you to fill in forms to get a replacement or only offer a standard 1 year guarantee. Other companies are interested in just shifting a box load of imported LED’s before disappearing into the sunset with the money so you want to buy from a supplier who will be around.

I bought my LED lamps from an established UK supplier offering a no quibble 5 year warranty so getting a replacement has needed nothing more than just a phone call to ship a new lamp.

Watts
Along with colour and warranty, this is a key thing to consider.

When looking at 50W halogen replacements, you’ll see loads of LED bulbs advertised as “50W equivalent”. Ignore this and look at the lumens output of the actual LED bulb instead. Disregard the actual watts of the LED too because as mentioned, the cost savings between a 4W and a 5W LED bulb total about 80p per month if you had 30 LED bulbs running for 6 hours a day.

Some distributors say that you only need about 350-400 lumens depending on the quality and efficiency of the LED bulb. I decided to try this out and bought a sample of GU10 warm white bulbs from different companies. What I found was a huge difference in the brightness and quality of light:

50W equivalent 5W LED bulb with 350 lumens
Complete rubbish. Nowhere near as bright as a 50W halogen but would be OK for a 35W halogen equivalent.

50W equivalent 6W LED bulb with 450 lumens
Still dimmer than a glow worms armpit, if you have a smallish room (say 12″ x 12″), this would *possibly* be OK as a 50W replacement depending on how many bulbs are in the room.

50W equivalent 6.5W LED bulb with 500 lumens
Not bad, this is just a little dimmer than 50W halogen but would do.

50W equivalent 7W LED bulb with 550 lumens
This is more like it. Good bright light and a decent 50W halogen replacement.

60W equivalent 8W bulb with 620 lumens
Even better and as bright, if not marginally brighter, than a 50W halogen. I went for these which were the highest dimmable lumens I could find.

The 30 odd 50W halogens have now all been replaced with 8W LED equivalents giving a massive energy saving of almost 75%. In total, including GU10 lamp holders, junction boxes and 30x LED lamps, it cost me under £100 it;s already paid for itself within a few months. Result.

 

To summarise then, if you have a bunch of hungry-ass MR16 50W halogen bulbs, it’s well worth the time and effort in getting these converted to LED.

The ridiculous popularity of YouTube gamers

Here’s something I really don’t get; the ridiculous popularity of YouTubers with millions of subscribers who will happily sit for hours watching them play a video game that they likely already own. Back in the 80’s, the very worst part of video gaming, apart from having to wait for the tape deck to load the game, was having to sit and watch someone else play and not getting a turn.

The whole social media thing is a complete crock of crap. I don’t do FarceBook, Twatter, InstaCack, SnapShite or any other number of pointless social media platforms simply because I can’t imagine anyone would be the least bit interested in me and I’m certainly not interested in other peoples mindless ramblings (DISCLAIMER: I realise the irony of posting this on a blog).

Why on earth do these self-important cretins think that anyone would actually be absorbed by what they had for lunch or what they’re wearing or who they saw? Almost every post seems to comprise not-so-subtle product placements, stupid pictures of everyday mundane objects or airbrushed photos of people pretending they have a wonderful life filled with copious amounts of hot sex. And it’s not just people either, companies are increasingly using Twitter for customer service which means more and more people think they should kick up a fuss and tell the World + Dog about it just to get satisfaction. Net result? Everyone wants to be a zelebrity with their 15 minutes of fame and shortcut to easy riches.

Those famous celebrities, who are famous for nothing except being a celebrity, or releasing an “accidental” sex tap, are to blame. Social Media is now filled with nobody’s who want to be a pointless somebody, namely the latest footballer flashing their gold plated Lambo complete with hookers in the passenger seat or the identikit Instagram models who seem to do nothing all day except swan around the world at the behest of rich horny geriatrics. Is this really what we want our children to aspire to?

Oh for the days when life was much simpler, we didn’t have all of this social media BS and gaming meant a shelf full of £9.99 tapes, a cassette deck and actually enjoying playing video games with your mates.

Rip-off scamming Camelot bump up the ticket price and slash the odds

Lottery operator and certified rip-off scam artists Camelot announced a few months back that the price of lottery tickets would increase whilst the odds of winning the jackpot will be helpfully slashed to a 1 in 140 million gazillion chance.

By forcing punters to choose an extra number, SCamelot claim there will be bigger jackpots with higher starting figures conveniently ignoring the fact that virtually everyone wants smaller jackpots with lower starting figures and an increased chance of winning. Who the fuck really needs £14mil anyway? For most, even a cool mil will be enough.

Let’s not forget that greedy bastards SCamelot are owned by the Ontario Teachers’ Pension Plan who have wasted no time in milking it for every last penny through dubious fiddles and fannying about so that the chances of winning anything have been gradually reduced over the year whilst the cost of buying a ticket has risen. No wonder ticket sales have dropped off a cliff, punters are just not interested anymore.

The whole thing needs to be run on a strictly non-profit basis and SCamelots lottery balls need to be kicked hard.

Why you should never give to charity

It’s simple. Almost all charities, including not-for-profit ones, are run as a business. That means rich CEO’s earning telephone number salaries and sitting on a huge cash pile whilst your donations are frittered away on admin shit like junk mail, paperwork, bills, offices, rent and Lord knows what else. Even those charities that insist 90% of a donation goes straight to the needy are pointless. All you’re doing is paying the 10% to run the business side of the charity. And if by some miracle your donation does actually reach the intended recipient, you can bet your ass it’ll be wasted on some pointless token gesture or squirreled away by corrupt shysters.

Take Africa for example. Over thirty years ago, we were all being bullied into donating money to “feed the world”. Fast forward thirty years and we’re still being pestered for cash. I say fuck ’em, if they can’t manage responsibly after all that cash then it’s their problem not ours. Absolutely zero sympathy here. Try getting rid of all those dodgy African dictators instead of shovelling more cash down the toilet bowl.

Then there’s Children In Need, the annual snore fest where interfering “Celebriteez” do stupid crap in a futile attempt to make us part with our own hard earned cash. As of October 2014, they’re sitting on a cash pile of some £90 million. Go figure.

And let’s not even talk about Kids Company, a so-called charity that was led by a clueless fruit cake woman permanently dressed as a fruit salad that used to hand out hard cash in envelopes no-questions-asked before collapsing under the weight of its own corruption and financial mismanagement.

Truth is that we are all sick of being begged for cash. Whether it’s chuggers in the street, the piles of junk mail with a free pen and bin bag, novelty “charidee”” songs or those silly TV ad’s which try to play the emotional blackmail card, just save your own money and spend it on something worthwhile. Namely you. After all, charity begins at home, no?

Queen celebrates being longest serving freeloader

God I hate the Royals. Set of useless, grasping, pointless, stuck-up, in-bred, money grabbing, dumb ass freeloaders the lot of ’em. Apart from the fact that they’re not even British, the House of Windsor is about as necessary as flip flops in the Arctic.

Still, that hasn’t stopped hordes of deluded peasants and Royalists, including wannabe London Mayor and Labour halfwit Sadiq Khan, queuing up to bow and scrape and fawn over someone who couldn’t care less if they all dropped dead as long as she keeps her wizened claws on the throne instead of being turfed out onto the streets to get a proper job which is infinitely more preferable than endless sponging off the tax payer.

Pathetic UK border welcomes all scum migrants

Roll up, roll up, you bunch of useless fucking grasping scum asylum seekers desperate to reach El Dorado, or the UK as it’s known to Brits, and the laughing stock of the World to everyone else.

Everyone is welcome, just assemble like cockroaches at the Calais Departure lounge where the lazy bastard French police will wave you through the Eurotunnel. Don’t forget to bring all your immigrant mates, three wives, twenty kids, Grandma I-Wan-House and Grandpappy Gimme-Benefit plus all assorted hangers-on and extended family.

As soon as you reach El Dorado, Plod will be be happy to pick you up and drive you to the nearest comfy hotel where good food, clean bedding and new clothes awaits you, courtesy of the mug grateful UK taxpayer.

All that remains then is for you to collect your benefit money to spend on cigs and take a few selfies with your fucking iPhone to post on your fucking Facebook. Don’t forget to smile and look smug and ensure that you tell everyone how wonderful the UK is and how you will never, ever, ever, EVER go back to whatever fucking rock you crawled under from.

The UK Government’s response? Sure, why not, the more the merrier. Hell, let’s welcome them with open arms and take out front page ads in the Asylum Seeker Times that free houses, benefits and health care are all available to all and sundry, no questions asked, no visa required and fuck any passport or border control.

Zayn Malik leaves One Direction and heads in the other direction

Zayn Malik, he of One Direction fame (no, me neither), has decided to leave the group. In other news, nobody cares.

Never mind though, there will be another band of talentless miming muppets along shortly to appease the hordes of teeny bopper school girls thus ensuring the world doesn’t drown under a sea of blubbery prepubescent tears.

MobileBitz – experts in selling overpriced crap

If you’ve visited any of the main shopping malls across the UK, chances are that you’ve come across a shitty little kiosk selling mobile tat staffed by grunting imbeciles who barely speak English. Welcome to MobileBitz.

These purveyors of cheap, overpriced crap are experts in selling you poor quality cases, screen protectors, guards and all other manner of Chinese rejects and knockoffs for your beloved mobile. I don’t have a problem with that at all. If you want to pay £10 for a faux PU leather case that fits an iPhone as snugly as an iron maiden and costs about 50p to make in a Chinese sweatshop then go for it.

However, be advised that these cowboys are only interested in taking your money.

Want a refund? Feck you.

Shoddy quality so case no fit properly? Feck you.

Sold the wrong accessory because the imbecile barely speaks English? Feck you again.

What about my consumer rights? Hahaha, me feck you big time.

In short, they have a policy of no refunds and exchanges only allowed within 2 weeks of purchase if it falls within a full moon period. Which is handy if you are visiting another part of the country.

So if you are looking for quality mobile accessories do yourself a favour and avoid MobileBitz like the plague infested pit it is. You owe it yourself and that 500 quid mobile in your pocket for something far better.

Farewell to The Office

Big fan of the US version of The Office and have just finished watching all nine seasons. The show fares surprisingly well after Steve Carell leaves with the whole Dwight, Jim and Pam relationship fleshed out and developed further proving that it could survive even after the departure of Michael Scott. It was inevitable though that with such a magnificent comedy performance from Steve Carell, it would only be a matter of time before it draws to a natural end.

The last season was a hit and miss affair, a bit long on drama and short on the absurd that The Office is known for but there were still flashes of sublime comedy; really loved the whole Assistant to the Assistant to the Regional Manager and the cameo by Steve Carell in the final episode has only a few lines but every single one hits the bulls-eye.

However, after having watched every single episode, I still can’t stand the character of Phyllis. Apart from being totally implausible as a salesperson, she’s too irritating and comes across as a cunning and conniving old crone. Erin is marginally less annoying but the whole enthusiastic but dim shtick was wears thin very quickly.

As for favourites, the newcomer Clark put in some really great performances as the sarcastic junior whilst Meredith in particular has lots of funny moments, not least when it’s the result of Dwight’s well intentioned but ill thought out plans (remember the episode where they catch a bat?). It kinda makes you wonder; just how much fun would it be to work in that kind of environment, even if it’s something as mundane as selling paper?

Predictably, the very last episode goes for the emotional sentimental angle but still manages to neatly tie up all the character arcs with a satisfying conclusion and leaves you wanting more, always the hallmark of a great, great series.