Why you should never give to charity

Monday 30 November 2015 @ 10:50 pm

It’s simple. Almost all charities, including not-for-profit ones, are run as a business. That means rich CEO’s earning telephone number salaries and sitting on a huge cash pile whilst your donations are frittered away on admin shit like junk mail, paperwork, bills, offices, rent and Lord knows what else. Even those charities that insist 90% of a donation goes straight to the needy are pointless. All you’re doing is paying the 10% to run the business side of the charity. And if by some miracle your donation does actually reach the intended recipient, you can bet your ass it’ll be wasted on some pointless token gesture or squirreled away by corrupt shysters.

Take Africa for example. Over thirty years ago, we were all being bullied into donating money to “feed the world”. Fast forward thirty years and we’re still being pestered for cash. I say fuck ’em, if they can’t manage responsibly after all that cash then it’s their problem not ours. Absolutely zero sympathy here. Try getting rid of all those dodgy African dictators instead of shovelling more cash down the toilet bowl.

Then there’s Children In Need, the annual snore fest where interfering “Celebriteez” do stupid crap in a futile attempt to make us part with our own hard earned cash. As of October 2014, they’re sitting on a cash pile of some £90 million. Go figure.

And let’s not even talk about Kids Company, a so-called charity that was led by a clueless fruit cake woman permanently dressed as a fruit salad that used to hand out hard cash in envelopes no-questions-asked before collapsing under the weight of its own corruption and financial mismanagement.

Truth is that we are all sick of being begged for cash. Whether it’s chuggers in the street, the piles of junk mail with a free pen and bin bag, novelty “charidee”” songs or those silly TV ad’s which try to play the emotional blackmail card, just save your own money and spend it on something worthwhile. Namely you. After all, charity begins at home, no?