Useless England football team

Tuesday 24 June 2014 @ 10:18 pm

Is anyone really surprised that England crashed out of the World Cup without winning a single game? The Premier League has created a bunch of overpaid, under worked lazy ass prima donnas who show neither commitment nor enthusiasm for the game and have about as much skill as an oaf threading a needle. And quite frankly, with all the money sloshing around the Premier League, there is zero incentive to nurture home grown talent. When the likes of Chelsea and Manchester City can buy cups through stuffing the teams with foreign players because there’s nobody good enough in Blighty, it’s no wonder that England has a woefully inadequate squad that would have difficulty finishing a dot-to-dot painting let alone scoring goals.

The lack of skill displayed by the England team was embarrassing and the difference between them and top flight teams is night and day. Having crashed out of the World Cup after successive defeats to Italy and Uruguay, it was left to Costa Rica to finish the job. And finish it they did, with England managing to salvage just a no-score draw after another lacklustre performance

Roll on the 2016 Euro championships when England can be humiliated again by fielding their very best third rate squad full of nobodies, pampered ego’s and scrappy youngsters who would have difficulty dribbling a beer.

Never mind Costa Rica, England can’t even beat Costa Coffee!

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Mini Movie Review: RoboCop (2014)

Sunday 8 June 2014 @ 8:45 am

A remake of the magnificent 1987 movie, this is a similar to the original. Detective Alex Murphy is nearly killed by a car bomb and chosen for the RoboCop program that transplants his remains into a cybernetic suit. Battling with the total loss of his body (Murphy’s head throat and lungs are the only thing that survive), his emotions towards his wife and son and striving to better more efficient fully mechanical robots, Murphy sets off to take down the drug kingpin who planted the car bomb.

Occasionally, there are films that are much better than the original. This isn’t one of them. The big, big, big problem with the remake is that Murphy doesn’t resemble or act like a robot. He can run, wears black body armour, uses a normal gun and moves like a regular human. The story places too much emphasis on political shenanigans and doesn’t show off enough of RoboCop’s supposedly superior abilities.

The suit is too sleek and not bulky or mechanical enough. There’s hardly any technology on show and it just makes Murphy look like a regular skinny white dude wearing a SWAT uniform. Sure, a large part of the story has always been about RoboCop finding his humanity but the film overdoes it to the extent that you feel Murphy never even becomes a robot.

Plus, this wishy-washy remake has none of the humour, tongue-in-cheek violence, smart scripted dialogue or funny adverts of the original. Even the ED209’s look weedy and far less menacing than the original. A real wasted opportunity then, stick with the original (and even the sequel) which is by far the better film.

Score: 2/5


Random Annoyances: Smug Self Satisfied Dieters

Saturday 7 June 2014 @ 8:57 pm

Now I’m not a fat bloke by any means and have no need to diet. However, it still irritates the hell out of me when I open the paper and there’s yet another article about some smug, self satisfied dieter who managed to lose a ludicrous amount of weight in a short space of time.

I’m not talking about those who are genuinely overweight and take the slow and steady route to lose the fat but those poncy dieters who make out that all it took was a change in food and a couple of sessions at the gym with a personal trainer for the weight to miraculously melt away within a month. You know the ones; the editor of Men’s Health or some writer for a glossy woman’s mag who hasn’t got anything better to write about.

Never mind that these miracle dieters never mention the cost of the gym, the personal trainer and the weekly grocery shop or the hours spent preparing carb free food, cleaning the kitchen afterwards as well as every other spare waking hour spent exercising like a bunny on drugs leaving precious time for anything else. I suppose if you don’t have a proper job, you can well afford to spend all day at the gym getting ripped.

And why do they always use those feckin’ irritating before and after pictures that show the person looking like a slob with messy hair, crumpled clothes and acne and then another shot of them one month later looking like they’ve just had a makeover? It’s like the “before” shot has been purposely taken to make them look as unflattering as possible to big up the “after” shot. Why? What’s the point? Are they trying to lose weight or audition for a commercial advertising spot cream?

Let’s be honest here folks. Nobody with an ounce of common sense is going to spend several hours a day at the gym followed by a meticulous grocery shop to buy overpriced organic crap to make pretentious meals that take an hour to prepare and then another two hours to scrub the oven clean afterwards.

You wanna lose weight? Eat less and exercise more. Simple.


Random Annoyances: Tiny Notification LED’s

Sunday 1 June 2014 @ 10:46 pm

What is the point of adding an LED to a mobile phone to notify the user of an event and then making the LED so tiny that you can’t see the fucking notification unless you’re standing right over the phone with a pair of binoculars?

Fair enough, there’s no need for a huge light that could ward off ships from a craggy coastline but neither is there any point in having an LED that makes it next to impossible at actually seeing if you have a missed event.

For years now, HTC have been the worst culprits, offering a tiny prick of an LED housed inside the speaker grill. You have absolutely no chance of seeing it unless you’re perpendicular to the phone and even moving a little to the side completely obscures the LED.

Why? Was it really so difficult to add a proper LED that you can actually see from across the room instead of something that’s barely bigger than a pinhead?

Time and time again, companies screw up even basic functionality that’s really not rocket science and HTC should know better.

But you know what? If HTC can’t be bothered to make their phones properly, I sure as hell can’t be bothered to entertain the idea of buying one.