Random Annoyances: Wasps

Thursday 17 April 2014 @ 10:18 am

You know the drill, the sun is high and you set off for a picnic. Out comes the cloth, down goes the food and immediately the feckin’ wasps appear. Doesn’t seem to matter what food you’re eating, these chavs of the insect world dart in and out determined to ruin your meal and ensure you spend the afternoon waving your arms about like a lunatic at an acid rave. And not only that, they look fugly too whilst that horrible whining noise they make is rivalled only by One Direction.

It’s not just picnics though; open the windows during a glorious hot day and before long a feckin wasp will appear on the window sill desperately trying to get out. Here’s what I don’t get; if a wasp is capable of flying through a narrow slit between two window panes into a house, why can’t the stupid bastard fly back out again? Even when you open the window wide enough to let in a bus, the wasp still dithers on the glass.

The only solution then is to whack ’em. Not only does it prevent you from getting stung, it shows them who is boss. Let’s face it, I don’t care how many stings these feckers have, they’re no match for a rolled up newspaper.