I just don’t see the point of breakfast in bed. Why on earth would someone want crumbs, blobs of strawberry jam and tea stains on their nice white pristine bed sheets? And then there’s the question of waking up and immediately stuffing your face. Who in the hell does that? First thing I do when I wake up is shut the damn alarm. Second thing is have a stretch and a scratch before turning over and hiding back under the covers to catch another precious 5 minutes slumber. The absolutely last thing I wanna do is eat when I wake up, it takes me an hour just to get going.
Other vital considerations too, who wants to lie in bed propped up like an inebriated tramp after having spent a whole night lying down? Is there any spot on the bed where you can put a tray so it doesn’t top over? (no!). How come breakfast in bed never tastes as good as if you were at the breakfast table?
Plus, what about if you have a woman in bed too? She’d think you’re a right slob if you can’t even be bothered to get your ass outta bed and make her a decent breakfast.