Random Annoyances: Dyson Airblade

Tuesday 22 January 2013 @ 11:24 pm

What a useless piece of overrated and expensive junk this is. Once upon a time, you could enter a restroom and use paper towels or one of those hot air blower things to dry your hands. Not any more though, it seems restrooms the world over are falling over themselves to install the Dyson Airblade and for the life of me, I really can’t see why.

Let’s start with the basic premise of what it does; Dyson claims it’s the worlds fastest hand dryer and completes the job inside 10 seconds.

Bullshit! I use these contraptions every day and have yet to manage completely drying my hands inside 30 seconds let alone 10. The idea that the Airblade “scrapes” the water off your hand is complete rubbish for a number of reasons.

Firstly, the gap for your hands is too narrow and you often end up touching the rubber edges that are freshly damp from the previous user. Gross! This means that you are just wiping your hands against a wet rubber blade.

Secondly, you have to move your hands up and down like a demented idiot trying a particularly cringe worthy Dad dance. This is neither ergonomic, comfortable nor usable. The angle at which the Airblade is installed means you inevitably put stress on your wrists, elbows and shoulders. Might not sound much but when you have to do the same thing over and over again, it becomes a pain in the ass.

Then there’s the simple fact that it doesn’t actually work. By trying to scrape the water off instead of drying your hands, you just end up stomping off and wiping your hands on your pants. In fact, restrooms would do far better by hanging a pair of pants on the wall than using an Airblade.

As for hygiene, take a look at the bottom of an Airblade to see the collected pool of tepid, fetid bacteria ridden water that has accumulated from the day’s use. Quite where this water is supposed to drain to is anyone’s guess since I’ve never actually seen an Airblade that was dry at the bottom.

Did I mention splash back? This is one of the biggest design flaws of the Airblade. Whilst moving your hands up and down, be prepared for water to be blown onto your nice clean blue shirt, your face, your watch, your cuffs, in fact, everywhere which is quite amazing considering so much ends up at the bottom of the well.

Finally, there’s the carbon footprint argument. Well quite frankly I never bought into the whole climate change scam so this is about as relevant as a lap dancer’s real name. Besides, all the Airblades I’ve ever had the misfortune to use heat up the air which kinda negates the point that they’re supposed to be more eco friendly in the first place.

The alternative, which is a conventional hot air dryer with sensors instead of buttons, is a far more agreeable proposition; stick your hands under the vent, rub vigorously for less than half a minute and you’re done.

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Pathetic Britian grinds to a halt under meagre snowfall

Sunday 20 January 2013 @ 8:13 pm

As I remarked 2 years ago in this post here, it only takes a few days of meagre snowfall for Britain to grind to a halt. Year after year after year we have the same excuses trotted out and the same level of incompetence proudly on show for the whole world to make a mockery of.

Everything I commented on back in 2010 has been repeated again in the last few days; trains cancelled, flights grounded, not enough gritters, businesses closed, dire warnings to stock up as if the apolocapyse is upon and a motley collection of pompous useless freeloading Government officials and local council officials out in force to lecture us all about the dangers of venturing outside.