Do we really need 4G networks?

Tuesday 25 September 2012 @ 9:11 pm

The recent announcement of the UK’s first 4G networks deserves no more than a derisory snort. Whilst the networks are trumpeting broadband speeds and super fast downloads, what they’re not telling you is that the power requirements for 4G handsets are ludicrous. If you are deluded enough to think that existing 3G handsets barely lasting a day is good, and it totally isn’t, then wait till you get a load of 4G; your shiny new handset will be lucky to make it to 12 noon.

However, there are two more obvious points. The first is simply that the UK doesn’t even have blanket 2G coverage let alone trying to launch 4G which begs the question, shouldn’t these scum sucking networks focus on improving existing 2G and 3G coverage first and foremost so you can actually make and receive calls out in the sticks and at least be able to download a small 100k file reliably?

Which leads me nicely onto the second point; just who the hell actually wants to download HD movies and huge 1GB files to their mobile handset? I’d like to meet them and slap them with a wet kipper.

Fair enough if you have a work laptop and need fast access to a corporate network but the reality is that few people, if any, use their mobile as the primary device for downloading massive files. When was the last time anyone seriously thought “hey, I feel like watching a 1080 HD movies on my 4″ mobile screen on this crowded train, I sure wish I had the network speed to download a 1GB file in less than 5 minutes”?

And then there’s a third point that 4G will invariably be far too expensive and restricted. Most existing mobile Internet packages have a fair usage policy so you can imagine how quickly that threshold will be reached if everything downloads quicker. It’ll be like getting the keys to a Ferrari and having permission to drive it as quickly as you want but your monthly petrol allowance only gets you 500 yards.

So 4G networks then; something nobody asked for, nobody needs, comes complete with sub optimal hardware that’ll drain your battery quicker than a sink drains water, and will lock you into a hugely expensive 2 year tariff paying over the odds just so you can download that 1GB file from a single 1m square spot somewhere in London.


Deluded bullying bastard Andrew Mitchell arrogantly believes he is above the law

Saturday 22 September 2012 @ 3:16 pm

On a list of most despised trades and the ones that deserve the least respect, Member of Parliament would always be top and with arrogant bullying bastards like Andrew Mitchell, the Tory Chief Whip, it’s not hard to see why.

The deluded, power mad, egotistical Mitchell lost his rag with the police at Downing Street when they quite rightly refused to open the main gates for him on security grounds. However, arrogant Mitchell was so full of his own importance that he demanded the cops let him through.

Instead, the Rozzer’s sensibly told shithead Mitchell to use the side gate instead at which point the contemptuous Chief Whip yelled “I’m the Chief Whip. I’m telling you open this gate. I’m the Chief Whip and I’m coming through these gates. Best you learn your fucking place. You don’t run this fucking government. You’re fucking plebs.”

The despicable Mitchell went on to utter those immortal words that deluded fools say everywhere “don’t you know who I am?” followed by “I will have your fucking job for this.”

Yes, Mr Mitchell we all know exactly who you are. You are an oaf, a dullard and a dimwit, a pompous rude twat and incompetent former International Development Secretary who lavishly gave away millions of tax payer money to corrupt third world dictatorships and grasping African countries under the direct orders of liberal loving pro EU leftie David Cameron.

You are a serial tax avoider, a nasty piece of work who epitomises everything that is wrong about Westminster, someone who doesn’t have the faintest idea about a proper job and would never get one outside of politics which is why you became an MP in the first place. In short, you’re one thick bastard.

You are also a wholly despised arrogant dickhead with a deluded sense of self entitlement having been born into wealth, come from a privileged background and thus never having had to do an honest days work in your miserable life through using your family connections and inheritance to make millions.

And you are also the typical of the stupid fucking arrogant Tory bastards in government, and you number many, who are so out of touch with public opinion that you deem it necessary to abuse hardworking police officers just days after two of their own were murdered in cold blood.

If Cameron had any balls, and he doesn’t, he would have immediately sacked Mitchell but we all know that Cameron is too busy looking after his own and sucking up to Europe to spare anytime actually running the country properly. Apparently, Cameron gave Mitchell a severe bollocking but we can all imagine how that conversation went;

Cameron: “Andy old boy, what on earth is going on?”

Mitchell: “Yes, frightfully sorry PM but dealing with these oiks can be really tiresome at times.”

Cameron: “Yes, quite Andrew. Anyway, how’s the new job. Settling in well?”


Mitchell didn’t even have the guts to face the abused cops in person and instead preferred to call them on the phone to offer a token apology in a feeble gesture to desperately try and brush everything under the carpet.

Therefore, may I suggest to the Rozzer’s that the best course of action would be to charge the puffed up pathetic Mitchell with misconduct, slap a pair of handcuffs on the sleazy shit and then throw him in jail.

Or better still, bundle him into the back of a Black Maria and dispense the Met’s own brand of justice using a couple of two-by-fours.

Pathetic sheep out in force for launch of rubbish iPhone 5

Friday 21 September 2012 @ 1:24 pm

There is no cult like the Cult of Apple and those iFools stupid enough to queue for weeks to buy one on launch day are just confirming to the rest of the world that they’re nothing more than pathetic sheep.

Is there anything sadder than a bunch of iDiots standing in line for a piece of overrated, overpriced and over engineered technology? Take the pyramids for example; built thousands of years ago and truly a phenomenal feat of engineering that has stood the test of time and is a testament to the sheer effort that went behind constructing these magnificent structures.

Now contrast that with the piece-o-shit Apple iPhone 5 that will be superseded in 12 months time and barely last more than a few years. I know which one I’d rather queue for.

Still, these queuing iFools give us sane people the usual assortment of losers, weirdo’s, Apple slaves, brainless lemmings and sheeple to laugh at. I mean, it’s just a phone and hardly a cutting edge one at that so what better way to waste your life than by standing in a line for days on end just so you can crow about being the first to get one.

For goodness sake you sad bastards get a grip and if you really do desperately need the iPhone to show the rest of the world how pathetic you are, at least just pre-order it and get it delivered on launch day.

Rubbish new iPhone 5 offers nothing new

Wednesday 12 September 2012 @ 11:06 pm

So, the new iPhone 5 then. Thinner, lighter, marginally quicker and … er … um … well it has a half inch bigger screen to keep the lemming-like Apple fanbois drooling over this new overpriced Apple tat.

Now I’m no fan of Android which seems to be in a perpetual cycle of slow, buggy, beta releases and I think the first iPhone was genuinely innovative. However, this .1 incremental handset from Apple just goes to show how quickly they’ve run out of ideas and how big the threat from Android now is. There is absolutely nothing offered by the iPhone 5 that makes it a compelling purchase or even a useful one, especially when there are plenty of cheaper and just as good alternatives available. As for upgrades, apart from a bit of tinkering with iOS 6 that offers a few pointless camera options, it’s all pretty much the same as previous models. And iOS 6 will be available for older iPhones so why bother upgrading just for the new software?

That won’t stop the Apple automatons though from queuing up to get their hands on one but neither will the iPhone 5 halt the march of Android. A wasted opportunity then by Apple who seem to have spent the budget on fighting Samsung in court instead of offering a genuinely different value proposition.