Mediocre London 2012 Olympics opening ceremony was rubbish

Seems like I’m one of the very few who found the London 2012 Olympics opening ceremony to be utter crap and about as entertaining as watching the freezer defrost. Switch on the TV and all you’ll hear are gushing media channels fawning over how great and amazing and wonderful the opening ceremony was, a spectacular success and a real triumph. Cue live interviews with braindead sheeple who are too stupid to realise they’re being taken for mugs by the business sponsors behind the whole corrupt circus that exists purely to make money from gullible idiots.

It’s the same with the printed press. Previously sceptical papers that couldn’t criticise the games hard enough as a monumental waste of money are now lavishing the plaudits on director Danny Boyle for putting on the Best Show Ever. Now I’ve nothing against Danny Boyle, he comes across as a very nice chap on TV but his films suck. Trainspotting was crap, a film about druggies interspersed with contemporary pop-culture references to make it cool, Slumdog Millionaire an overrated piece of melodramatic slush that has the same feel good factor you get with a kick to the groin and the less said about 127 Hours, the better. I’ll give him 28 Days Later though, that was a good movie.

Back to the feeble opening ceremony, there were precisely four, and only four, redeeming pieces; the opening sequence with James Bond and the Queen although it would have been a lot more entertaining if it really was Liz and the parachute failed to open; Mr Bean’s comedy skit; the soundtrack that showcased the best of British music talent despite the presence of the Sugababes; and finally Becks roaring up the Thames in a speedboat with the Olympic flame.

The rest of it was mostly mediocre multicultural claptrap; a mish-mash of potted history through the industrial revolution taking in Brunel that will have been lost on anyone who’s attended Britain’s finest dumbed-down educational establishments during the last 15 years; a homage to our very own NHS that not so much came across as a blatant piece of lefty propaganda as it did advertise to the world that the UK health service is free to all and everyone’s welcome; some rubbish new-age style arty dance crap that was accompanied by a singer nobody’s ever heard of warbling a funeral dirge; gangs of irritating teenage hoodies advertising the latest mobile phones and using social media to tell a pointless love story; and lets not forget the hordes of children that seemed to be peddled at every possible opportunity to perhaps invite sympathy or more accurately, ensure that the whole Olympics charade plays the cynical “games legacy for our kids” card full tilt.

The Sir Tim Berners-Lee tribute was a nice touch but even he must have felt a bit of berk sitting out there tapping on a keyboard in front of a global audience of billions. As for the flying Mary Poppins, cavorting imbeciles around the Maypole, embarrassingly twee costumes, Lord Voldemort wannabe, that stupid baby face sculpture thing made of what looked like string and the live farm, it was not so much a spectacle as it was a fine display of half-assed British eccentricity and drivel. Or to put it another way, there were more sheep in the audience than there were in that damn farm.

To cap things all off, that old geriatric duffer McCartney was wheeled out to sing off key and murder what little atmosphere remained in the stadium from a pliant crowd that would have been satisfied with a third rate Punch and Judy show. Why they have to get this old fool out at every opportunity singing the same tired old rubbish is a mystery although I suppose we should be grateful they didn’t go with the infinitely worse Rolling Stones.

Most atrocious of all though, was surely the daft decision to announce everything in French before English. WTF? Did Napoleon conquer Britain? Has this green and pleasant land been overrun by a bunch of self serving cheese-eating surrender-monkey toads? It was an absolute disgrace and further proof if any is needed that the IOC is nothing more than a jumped up bureaucratic jolly for its members to swan around the world staying in the best hotels, dining on the finest food at the expense of the mug host country that’s been stupid enough to bid for the games and bow to their every whim.

So in short then, hats off to Danny Boyle for organising what was largely a damp squid, the guy will definitely be knighted in the honours list and deserves to be for agreeing to stage this ridiculous waste-of-time extravaganza.

And to anyone who thinks I’m a miserable old goat and that London 2012 staged the “Best Opening Ceremony Ever”, well all I can say is firstly, you’re easily pleased and would probably be entertained by the opening of a supermarket; and secondly, next time that hospital or school in your neighbourhood closes, or pensions are cut yet again, or our troops are sent abroad ill-equipped to fight a phoney foreign war or your local sleazy expense-fiddling MP bleats about there not being any money left in the kitty to pay for vital infrastructure projects, just remember how much this whole rotten Olympics jamboree cost the taxpayer.

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20 Responses to Mediocre London 2012 Olympics opening ceremony was rubbish

  1. Simon says:

    Absolutely the best blog post concerning the atrocious pile’o’shite which was the opening ceremony.

    • cassie says:

      thank god someone said it! the whole thing was a disgrace! i got up at 3 am to watch and was asleep 10 minutes later, i had to watch the replay in the morning and still nearly fell asleep! to all those who think its only ignorant americans who have no british history knowledge were the only ones who hated it, you are very wrong. Im australian and i can tell you the majority here thought the whole thing was a joke and a waste of money. very dissappointing, bring the games back to aussie or better yet just let the chinese run it every year, they know how to put on a show everyone can follow!

  2. SALLY SWEETE says:

    Well done!! Thank God I’m not the only one. This country has been brainwashed. The ceremony was deeply embarassing and an insult to my intelligence. Not about Olympics but self-indulgence for D.Boyle’s working class roots. The news and media channels and papers clearly threatened by big bro not to publish any negative comments and the whole circus dances on with fingers plugged in their ears. La la la .. Can’t hear anything bad about the £27m opening ceremony disaaaaster, Boyle and Coe and the rest of the self-satisfied monkeys. Baaaaah.

  3. berks says:

    Thank God someone else agrees! The Chinese and Aussies put us to shame, or may be it’s the fact that they actually have some sort of culture. What a waste of money and feel sorry for the people who paid £2000 +, I’d have shot myself!

  4. John Gilson says:

    Hurray!!!!! Someone with taste. I’m really disturbed at the amount of friends that loved it. Loved what???? I’m utterly baffled what there was to like. I didn’t watch is live but so many people thought it was amazing so I thought I’d better watch a re-run of it. My God, it was so dull. Just because there was singing why did they have to use an amateur, out of tune childrens choir, what’s wrong with one of the many world class professional choirs we have in this country from a choral tradition going back centuries. Why is it seen as more inclusive to have untrained amateurs do everything to a very mediocre standard. Utter Crap.

  5. david says:

    well well well, and finally someone who sees the emperor wears no clothes, nice one. Music culture is rooted in anti establishment views, its very core stands outside the the values of all the politicians and dignitaries that were sat there watching. At times it made me cringe but that said the idea of the Queen watching the Sex Pistols as a patriotic act, is quite amusing. Personally I would give it a 4 out of ten, but remember folks, Danny Boyle had a lot of people to please, better him than Andrew Lloyd Webber uggggh!
    In relation to the expense, dosen’t this waste of money go on everyday, its called politics. For any one who dosen’t think so just read Private Eye for a couple of months. Marvellous.

    • Grumpy Bear says:

      Good point, Lloyd-Webber would surely be top of any shortlist of people who you could guarantee to stage an even worse and more cringing show. As for the monumental waste of money, that’s what the Olympics is all about, get the taxpayers to foot the bill for business sponsors to shove their products in our face and increase profits which is why it goes hand-in-hand with our political scum in office determined to screw the electorate.

  6. hugo says:

    couldn’t agree with this any more!

    Why choose Arctic monkeys, who on a global scale are unheard of, surely Coldplay and Elton John would have been better, more melodic choices?

  7. Mubariz says:

    I really could not agree with this blog more, the Olympic ceremony was absolutely a pile of bullshit and would have been more interesting if they made us watch paint dry, and all that money spent on this piece of crap that could have gone to something useful

  8. AndyH says:

    Can’t say if the Olympic ceremony was good or bad, I didn’t both to watch it, why? Because most of the press (mainly the BBC) kept telling us to support the Olympic and it was not the time to be negative! Well I can think of better ways to spend the money the Olympic’s have cost us.
    If they really wanted a way of making the Olympic ceremony to make a statement take the £27m and set light to it in the centre of the stadium with the Olympic flame!!!
    Much faster and much more memorable……

  9. Dionne says:

    From a British black persons point of view. I’m ashamed that once again, we have not been credited where credit’s due. Black people have made a huge contribution to this country, and I didn’t see, not one thing that represented that! We are widely viewed as having been a major contributing factor to the rebuilding of the post-war urban London economy, amongst so many other things, which I won’t go in to, because I don’t want to offend! I didn’t see anything to portray this. Also World war one and World war two, look it up and see our contribution. I’m not going into detail, I’d be here all day! Billions of people watched this shit, you think he’d at least put us on the map, but as always, the Spanish, Italians, Eastern Europeans and so many other countries are going to continue to think we are bottom of the list. I speak only from experience. Nuff said on that subject.

    As a designers point of view, it didn’t have any chi what’s so ever. Random is the best word that describes the Olympic ceremony. I was completely embarrassed, and spent more time cussing at the TV in four boring hours, than I have the whole month!! I’m really annoyed that some of my black friends enjoyed it, and failed to see how we got left out. I have a rant on Facebook nearly every day, to anyone that will listen!

    As a spectator’s point of view, I can only imagine their utter dismay at coming to England to see such a pile of shite that probably made no sense to them what’s so ever. WTF? was on a lot of people’s mind that evening. I mean, are you kidding me, with that Rowan Atkinson’s dry lip humour and that chariots of fire? The queen part with James bond was pathetic and pompous. It would have been better if she’d jumped herself or even looked half interested. She looked as bored as me! Could she sound more disinterested with that speech?
    Don’t even get me started on Arctic Monkeys, now it’s my turn….WTF????? I didn’t even know who they were and to come out with that punk rock crap was again, embarrassing. They could have come up with so much more funky, groovy music to get the audience involved and moving, but no, they had to represent our country with that shit!!!!

    Danny Boyle is a total knob, and did this ceremony for himself, not for the public. Not impressed.

    • Grumpy Bear says:

      Interesting points. I agree that black people have contributed lots to the country but the whole show was an advertisement for the lefty multiculutural agenda that’s shoved down our throats at every opportunity. The two starring teens in the social-media love-in schtick were black as was the lead dancer in that rubbish new age dance crap thing with the kid. If there’s one thing the despised Olympics does better than anything, and it certainly ain’t competitive sport, it’s being politically correct.

      By all means have a rant, you’re right, the ceremony was random and embarrassing and won’t have made sense to anyone outside of Blighty. However, I reckon Danny Boyle is a decent bloke and was doing his best to try something new that just turned out to be a rubbish mess. 10/10 for effort, 2/10 for the end result (half point each for the four good bits).

  10. A passionate Brit says:

    What a load of rubbish! This forum is just for people who love to moan about everything.

    Show was brilliant and opitimised what the British are all about. Unlike the Chinese opening ceremony it had soul and showed what the true brits have achieved and have brought to the world!

    • Grumpy Bear says:

      Of course it’s a forum to moan about everything, the clue is in the name of the blog, “Grumpy Bear”. And I never said the Chinese ceremony was better!

      As for the opening ceremony being “brilliant”, if you’re easily pleased or think wasting £12 billion on a glorified school sports day is money well spent whilst the country is bust, then yes, it was indeed outstanding. Remember that next time you hear scamming Dave Cameron and Boy George bleating on about there being no money whilst shafting the electorate with more taxes to pay for crap like this.

    • cassie says:

      No one cares about ‘soul’. We dont want a whole history lesson, everyone just wants a great show to open up the olympic games, something memorable. I guess it was memorable… just not in a good way. The only good part was when the queen showed up, and even she looked unhappy!

  11. John Farman says:

    I found that little of what you wrote concerning the opening of the Olympics could possibly be argued with. Anyone with a semblance of a brain must surely have realised what a load of old cliched tosh had been shoved in their faces. Oh how we laughed at the opening of the Beijing Olympics – when all those tiny little identikit people were corralled together to form huge Nationalistic images. That would never happen to us in the free world we cried. Bollocks! that was exactly what they did to us last week. A huge pointless display to show the world what a magnificent, united country we are, with a history that would make anyone proud. Forget slavery, youth riots, a National Health system that’s on its knees and Sir Jimmy Saville.

    The only part of your worthy rant that I disagreed with, was your praise of the bit featuring Rowan Atkinson, who I find about as funny as the late Benny Hill, though not as subtle. In fact, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Mr Bean was mentioned in the New Years Honours list.

  12. Jan says:

    Yeah, you pretty much hit it on the head here. I couldn’t find much interesting or entertaining about it. Mike Oldfield was about the best part, which is saying something. I didn’t like the Mr. Bean, either; it sent a message of “it’s OK to be a daydreaming moron with no ambition”. And Mr Bean isn’t funny anyway: they should have brought him out as Blackadder if they wanted something that was actually funny.

    I was fortunate to miss the entire closing ceremony too; once I read that they brought out the Spice Girls, any and all respect I may have had for my native land disappeared in a puff of second-rate smoke.

  13. Jon Hooper says:

    It’s damp squib. Otherwise right on the money. Having lived in other European countries for years, I was hoping that Britain would fly the flag for once and be proud of its culture rather than stay forever mired in post-colonial guilt. The list of great, world class artists, inventors, scientists, musicians etc etc. is matchless for such a small island. A celebration of ordinary people has nothing national about it and no the Europeans weren’t impressed. Oh dear oh dear.

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