Brainless Taliban hicks kill their own people

Monday 27 February 2012 @ 4:23 pm

If ever you wanted to find the stupidest, most ignorant, backward, country hick, medieval dickheads on the planet, you wouldn’t have to look much farther than the brainless bearded mullahs of the Taliban who fester uncontrollably in Afghanistan. These non-Muslim boneheads do not represent Islam in the slightest and prefer their own brand of mindless militant nonsense dressed up as jihad.

The country has improved not one iota since corrupt expert embezzler Hamid Karzai, stooge of the American government and former oil consultant, was parachuted into the presidential suite with orders to let the Americans run gas pipelines out of Afghanistan.

In between pilfering as much natural resource as they can get their dirty hands on, the Americans have found plenty of time to insult the Islamic world by burning copies of the Quran. The response by the turban turnips of the Taliban was predictably stupid as a brainwashed suicide car bomber killed nine in a blast just outside Jalalabad airport. This included several innocent civilians who had absolutely nothing to do with the Americans and were just unfortunate to be passing by.

Chief dickhead Taliban spokesman Zabiullah Mujahid said in an email, “this attack is revenge against those soldiers who burned our Quran”. Nice going Slim, apart from the collateral damage that resulted in the murder of some locals. But then again, the Taliban has always been keen to kill their own people in the name of “Jihad”, a word that most of these illiterate uneducated fools couldn’t spell let alone understand.

As for the whooping insensitive arrogant Americans, they deserve a severe retribution for desecrating a holy book. Best thing they could do is sod off back to the US and let Afghanistan fall to pieces by itself.

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Random Annoyances: Scottish Money

Monday 13 February 2012 @ 1:25 pm

You know the feeling, you pay for something using proper English money and are handed back some paper crap from one of the useless Scottish banks along with an assurance and smirk about it being legal tender.

Why? I mean for goodness sake, why? Seriously, which idiot thought it necessary for the Scots to have their own printed notes? Apart from the fact that most Scots are famously tight and would rather French kiss the Loch Ness Monster rather than spend actual money, there is absolutely no useful purpose to having a separate Scottish note alongside the widely recognised and accepted English Sterling pound.

And that’s the thing. Try to spend a Scottish note south of the border and you might as well be trying to pay for goods and services using a tartan napkin with IOU written on it. Very few retailers seem to accept Scottish money whilst the ones that do can’t wait to get rid of it to the next poor mug that requires change.

If you ever get handed one of these pointless pieces of paper that serves only to fuel the Scots ego, best thing is to hand it straight back and demand proper English currency.