Random Annoyances: Patterned Hosiery

Friday 11 November 2011 @ 4:48 pm

Winter is upon us which means ladies everywhere have resorted to covering up their legs. That’s fine, we don’t want to see your goose pimpled limbs and know it’s chilly plus the right pair of tights can look very fetching if you have the pins and the right skirt and heels.

What doesn’t look in the slightest bit attractive though, regardless of the temperature, are those God awful patterned tights and stockings that hot woman everywhere suddenly seem to be wearing. Why on earth you’d want your legs to look like they’ve spent 10 minutes in a waffle maker is beyond me and that goes for those horrid seamed stockings too that were mildly sexy back in 1962 but would make you look cheap in 1995 let alone 2011.

And another thing too, what’s with the stupidly garish colours? If it’s not enough to wear a pair of silly patterned tights that look like some kid used them for a Blue Peter project, you then think it’s a good idea to buy them in purple or olive colours? Seriously, are you for real or just not getting any?

Women of London and New York, frankly, if you cannot buy decent feminine un-patterned hosiery, I don’t care how good your pins are, just stick to wearing trouser suits.