Road accidents drop in UAE during BlackBerry outage

In news that will surprise nobody who has visited the United Arab Emirates, it has been revealed that during the BlackBerry outage, road accidents in Dubai dropped by 20% whilst neighbouring Abu Dhabi recorded an even more dramatic fall of 40%.

This is to be wholly expected; by and large the local Emirati’s are a bunch of brainless Bedouin buttheads who would have a hard time steering a plodding camel let alone be trusted at the wheels of a dangerous automobile. However, they only make up a tiny minority of the population, especially in Dubai where the majority comprises tax-dodgers, drug dealers, money launderers, pimps, Russian hookers, grasping Indians, alcoholic Arabs, scamming property spivs and other assorted rabble out to make a fast buck in the seamy underworld of Deira.

The UAE used to have some of the most dangerous roads in the world and it’s not difficult to see why. Drive down the Sheikh Zayed Road at any time and you will often be immediately tailgated by some gormless grinning dickhead in a dish-dash driving with one hand firmly clamped to a phone whilst the other is used to pump the horn.

There are laws against driving whilst using a mobile in the UAE but these are largely ignored, much like the wholesale drug dealing and prostitution which the authorities are only too eager to turn a blind eye towards. Make no mistake; Dubai is the sleaze capital of the Middle East and as superficial as the make-up that’s slapped on with a butter knife by the women there.

It wouldn’t be a bad idea for Etisalat to introduce a permanent daily outage on BlackBerry devices to further reduce road accidents. Mind you, with the crap service that Etisalat provides, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they’d already done this unintentionally.

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