There’s just four weeks to go until the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, the annual televisual event that all heterosexual males lust …… I mean look forward to. Only in recent years, it’s steadily been turning into some dreadful all singing, all dancing entertainment crap with less and less focus on hot sexy models parading their stunning bods in skimpy lingerie.
Take the 2010 show for example. Never mind drooling over Alessanda Ambrósio or Adriana Lima in their undies, we were subjected to the likes of Akon warbling away whilst Katy Perry did a gig surrounded by writhing male dancers who looked like they’d just been found in the Blue Oyster Bar. The 2007 show was even worse with the nauseating spectacle of Seal serenading his model wife Heidi Klum who then joined him in a toe-curling embarrassing duet.
And then there’s the constant TV cuts to mindless unnecessary drivel like shots of backstage dress rehearsals, shots of gawping celebrities, shots of whoever is providing the rubbish warm-up "entertainment", shots of the stage, shots of the lights, shots of the building, shots of the fireworks, shots of the crowd, in fact pretty much shots of everything except the close up shots of the Victoria’s Secret Angel’s legs and boobs which is what everyone has really tuned in for.
Mixing the actual fashion show with the performance is also a stupid idea. We don’t want to see the models trying to mingle with the singers or bands whilst sashaying down the runway wearing a thong. Have the organisers got any idea how many guys are out there desperately trying to beat one off only for the camera to pan to Justin fuckin’ Timberlake at the point of no return?
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show needs to either provide an edited version of the show with sexy ass models only or get back to basics; a couple of runway camera’s mounted on rails that follow each model up and down the stage with long lingering panning shots to get the full body and face, no entertainment, no singing, no dancing and definitely no frivolous cuts or TV splices to anything that isn’t hot, female, wearing lingerie and in heels.