Britain shivers under icy grip of incompetence

With forecasts having warned of snow several days earlier, it was of absolutely no surprise to anyone that the UK ground to a halt. First off the blocks were the train companies who wasted no time in suspending routes, cancelling services, leaving passengers stranded and generally making no effort to clear a few inches of snow off the tracks.

The usual excuses were trotted out for their quarterly airing; adverse weather conditions, unusual weather conditions, severe weather conditions, unexpected snow in freezing conditions, it was the wrong type of snow, the snow had fallen too quickly/slowly, the snow was blowing in from the east, the points had frozen, the track warmers wouldn’t work, the fat controller wanted a day off, staff were tucked up in bed, leaves on the line, pig on the line, Mexican bandits, you name it, we’ve heard it all.

Anyone foolish enough to actually visit a train station in the forlorn hope that a normal service might actually be running were met with silent announcements followed by deliberate misinformation and incompetent rail chiefs who decided it would be a far better proposition to run empty trains to their destinations instead of actually stopping to pick up cold and increasingly irate passengers (note to useless rail chief shysters, we are NOT customers).

Next up were the useless local government jobsworths who infest every council up and down the country and spend the majority of the working week thinking up new ways to waste council tax. These parasites are the first to demand payment when it comes to collecting council tax and the last to spend money wisely. And so it was that before the freeze, we had councils everywhere boasting about increased salt levels and how much they had invested in keeping the roads clear after the previous year’s debacle.

However, as soon as the white stuff began to fall, it soon became apparent that councils didn’t actually have any grit and the meagre supplies available were being stored up in some council depot presumably for the purpose of gritting the “chief executives” front drive or sprinkling on the fat bastard’s weekly bag of chips. Why the f**k does a council need a chief executive anyway? In any Coalition spending cut, these scamming fat cats should be first in line to dump on the scrapheap.

The question all sane voters were asking themselves is what’s the bloody point in buying salt if you’re not going to actually invest in the trucks to grit the roads and spread the damn stuff? It seemed that there were about five gritters in the whole of the country and only two of these were fully operational.

Nevertheless, taxpayers are assured that council tax will continue to be demanded with no return on investment so it can be wasted on local government spivs to go on jollies with gold plated index linked pensions on standby for when they finally decide to “retire” on grounds of ill health.

And then we have the airports. With the snow piling up and flights being delayed, Heathrow soon ground to a halt as the lazy Spanish owners couldn’t be bothered to clear the runways. No surprise there then, I’ve yet to meet any Spaniard who could offer more than 30 minutes of actual useful labour.

The accusations began to pile up as the airlines, quite rightly, blamed BAA who in turn blamed the airlines. Truth is that airlines are responsible for de-icing their planes and holding gate’s only with BAA responsible for everything else. It’s scandalous that the Government actually let a two-bit cowboy outfit like Ferrovial buy Heathrow for next to nothing. The heavily debt laden Spanish have used Heathrow as nothing more than a cash cow to pay off their other loans with no effort to invest or improve services. No wonder that third world Heathrow is often voted the worst international airport in the world. It certainly resembled a third world hell hole with passengers huddled under blankets, sleeping in terminals and soup kitchens erected to feed the hungry.

With everyone transfixed with images of passengers being thrown out of Heathrow and burly security guards manhandling irate travellers, the time was ripe for petrol prices to creep up which they duly did in that time honoured tradition of shafting the poor sod motorist out to buy a pint of milk for the morning cuppa. The oil companies insist that prices have been rising all year and are dictated by supply and demand which is about as convincing an argument as the doctored dossier claiming Iraq could deploy WMD’s in under 45 minutes.

Truth is that the hedge funds, shysters and wide boys who “work” in the futures market have been driving up prices all year to make a killing by hoarding petrol. These spivs are nothing more than gamblers in shiny suits with a penchant for strippers, beer and tasteless apartments complete with blinged up crap wagon parked outside. Add to that a Government full of chauffeur driven out-of-touch ministers who never have to fill up, the fuel escalator and VAT increase due in the New Year and a sizeable amount of cash going into the Treasury through petrol tax and there is no way motorists will have it any easier in 2011. Even if oil prices fall, there is little to no visibility of this at pump prices which only reinforces the wholly deserved tag that the UK deserves as rip off Britain.

Last of all we have the utility companies who gleefully announced huge rises in gas and electricity the very moment temperatures began to drop. Like with Heathrow, the Government has been far too busy flogging off our utilities to the cheapest foreign bidder to actually stop and think about what position this places us in. As a result, the UK is at the mercy of French and German owned energy giants who use the UK to subsidise cheaper prices in their own domestic markets. Furthermore, with no investment in storage, all our utilities are bought pretty much at the market spot rate which means the energy companies can charge us whatever the hell they like. And don’t think for one moment that the so called energy watchdog will do anything about this blatant scam, the likes of Ofgem have about as much bite as a guppy fish. Any “investigation” inevitably leads to a mere slap on the wrist and a stern warning followed by the chief executive proudly announcing another result for the consumer. Remind me again exactly why a consumer watchdog needs a f*****g chief executive?

As for the Global Warming scammers, they insist that snow in winter is the result of global warming (now rebranded “climate change”) and nothing to do with actual seasonal change. Seems global warming is responsible for it being cold in winter, hot in summer, wet in spring and breezy in autumn. Expect an exciting range of new climate change taxes coming to a bill near you soon to complement the rebranding exercise.

So, there you have it; incompetent Britain scuppered by a bit of snow that other countries comfortably manage to cope with. Expect the same next year. And the year after that. And the one after that too!

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