When coffee isn’t coffee

What is it with people and their beverages? Every day I hear punters ordering rubbish like a skinny grande mocca chocca latte espresso with extra milk and a twist of cream. Worst of all is when you’re stuck behind the office lackey who’s offered to get drinks for everyone and is busily trying to decipher an advent calendar of post-it notes. What on earth happened to just asking for black coffee with two sugars?

And why are all these coffee drinkers unable to properly functional until they’ve downed at least 5 pints of the brown stuff? I’ve been in meetings that couldn’t start on time because there was no tea or coffee and seen co-workers reduced to incoherent gibbering wrecks until they had their first sip of the day.

Get a grip people FFS!

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